From Where She Came
by m47e47l
Summary: Twist on Syd's missing two years. She returned during that time and let someone in on her secret. Now, after her return, they must work together in order to discover the truth. COMPLETE.
1. You Were Alive

**Summary: **Twist on Syd's missing two years. She returned during that time and let the last person you would expect in on her secret. Now, after her return, they must work together in order to discover the truth.

**A/N: **So here it is, another play and twist on the whole missing two years thing. I know that it's been done before (and that I have done it before) but there is just so much that you can do with this storyline! Anyway, I hope that you enjoy my interpretation and please let me know what you think :)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Alias._ The title of this story, and the lyrics at the start of this chapter, comes from the song 'The Circle Game' by Joni Mitchell.

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* * *

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_And the seasons they go round and round  
And the painted ponies go up and down  
We're captive on the carousel of time  
We can't return, we can only look behind  
From where we came  
And go round and round and round  
In the circle game._

**Chapter One:  
You Were Alive**

**FOURTEEN MONTHS EARLIER**

_The knocking on the door was loud and incessant. He stood inside, his hand hovering over the door knob. Drawing in a deep breath, he grasped it and pulled it open._

"_Weiss," Vaughn let out a loud sigh, his eyes wide. "I…she's alive."

* * *

_

The smell was the first thing that Sydney noticed. Before she had even opened her eyes the scent of rotting garbage assaulted her senses and she knew…knew that she was no longer in her apartment.

Along with the smell came the somewhat distant sounds of a city that was unfamiliar and, as Sydney opened her eyes, she realized that not only was she no longer in her apartment, she was long longer in Los Angeles.

* * *

"Weiss." 

At the sound of Dixon's voice, Weiss looked up from his report. "Yeah?"

"My office. Now."

Curiously Weiss followed the Director into his office. He had done nothing wrong but strangely felt as if he were back in high school and being summoned to the principal's office.

"What is it?" he asked, closing the door behind them.

"Dispatch received a call several hours ago," Dixon paused, taking a deep breath. "It was Sydney."

Weiss blinked. "Sydney? Sydney Bristow? She called?"

"You are not the only one in shock about this. The entire Agency is in overdrive, trying to figure out how we could not have known how she was alive."

Weiss hesitated for a second, clearing his throat. "Uh…did she say where she has been?"

"That's the thing. She believed that she was coming to after her fight with Allison."

"What? But—"

"She has no memory of the last two years."

Weiss mind was running at a hundred miles an hour. Just what she been going on in the past—

"Jack is on his way to Hong Kong now. He'll be bringing her straight back here."

Weiss nodded numbly. "Could you let me know when she gets here?"

"Of course…and the answer to your next question is 'yes'."

Weiss cocked his head to one side. "Pardon?"

"Your next question- about telling Vaughn. I am saying that you can. He deserves to know.

"Ok." Slowly Weiss made his way to the door. Sure, he was allowed to tell Vaughn but after…well, he just wasn't sure _how_ he was going to tell Vaughn that Sydney was still alive.

* * *

**FOURTEEN MONTHS EARLIER**

_"Vaughn, I know how much you want this to be real, but it's not. It can't be," Weiss said gently. "You scattered her ashes…Sydney is dead."

* * *

_

Weiss was approaching the front steps of Vaughn's when the door flew open and a blonde haired figure flew out.

"Lauren."

"Oh, hi Eric." She slowed her steps as she came near him. "Would stay and chat but I have a meeting to get to."

"Of course. See you later."

"Oh, can you do me a favour?" she called out as she blew past him.

"Sure."

"Tell that fiancé of mine that I wasn't joking when I said that I wanted dinner ready and waiting for me when I get back."

Weiss tried not to cringe at the sound of the word 'fiancé' and only nodded. With what he was about to tell Vaughn he would bet his life that there were two chances that that was going to happen- Buckley's and none.

"Weiss." Vaughn's figure appeared in the doorway. For a few seconds he scrutinized his best friend's face. "What's going on?"

Weiss drew in a deep breath. "You got any beer?"

"I think so."

"Good."

Vaughn paused. "Do you want one?"

Weiss nodded. "Yup- and you…you're gonna _need_ one."

* * *

Sydney could only stare at her father in disbelief. "Two years? I have been missing for two years?" 

Jack nodded. "There was a fire in your apartment. There was a…body." He swallowed hard, the memories of that night still causing him grief…even with his daughter sitting, alive and well, in front of him. "The DNA matched…you were dead."

Sydney was blinking furiously in a vain attempt to stop the tears that were welling in her eyes. "How…I don't…_two years_?"

"Sweetheart, I cannot even begin to fathom what you are feeling right now, but I can promise you that we will get to the bottom of this. We will find where you have been."

"Where I've been…" Sydney murmured and then suddenly; sat up straighter. "What about everybody else? What has happened to them? Will- you said that he was ok but where is he? And Francie- my Francie, did you find her? And Vaughn, Dixon, Marshall, Weiss…"

"Will is in Witness Protection, we are still yet to recover Francie, alive or dead," Jack replied. "Dixon is Director of the JTF, for six months now. Marshall is, believe it or not, expecting a baby with Carrie Bowman and Weiss…well, he's Weiss."

Sydney was feeling light headed as she tried to comprehend the massive amounts of information but even so she still noticed the major omission of her father's. "Dad. What about Vaughn?"

Jack paused. "I don't know."

"You don't know? How can you now know? You work—"

"Vaughn left the CIA after your death," Jack interjected. "And you should be worrying about yourself, not him. He is not worth your concern. Instead we—"

"Dad," Sydney's tone was quiet but firm. "What aren't you telling me?"

Jack drew in a deep breath. Why should he be the one to break this news to his daughter? Especially when she had just had two years of her life stolen? "Nothing…you know how reliable office gossip is."

"Dad. Please."

"Fine…from what I have heard he has met somebody else. Sydney, he's engaged."

* * *

Weiss started at the short snort of laughter that came from his friend. Ever since Weiss had broken the crazy news, Vaughn had been sitting motionless, silently staring at the blank television screen…until now. 

"Vaughn?"

"Right…sorry…inappropriate reaction," Vaughn straightened up in his seat. "I just can't help but see the irony in this."

"Irony?"

"Yeah. What was it? A bit over a year ago we were in your house and you were doing all you could to convince me that Sydney was dead." Vaughn looked directly at Weiss. "And now, here we are in my house and you are telling me that she's actually alive."

Weiss coughed slightly. "Vaughn, I—"

"Don't worry. You didn't know. How could have you known…none of us did."

"Right." Weiss shifted in his seat. "Right."

"Where is she now?"

"Hong Kong. Jack is going to bring her home," Weiss replied. "We're unsure of what state she is in, so she'll be taken directly to the Naval Hospital." He paused, considering what he was going to say next. "I can organise it if you want to visit her."

Vaughn shook his head slightly. "If? _If_? You know damn well that I want to be at that hospital waiting for her arrival but…"

"Lauren."

Vaughn nodded. "I think that I should probably talk to her before doing anything."

* * *

Pushing the door open, Weiss peered into the hospital room. Sydney looked to be asleep and so he went to walk away. 

"Hey." Sydney soft voice stopped him in his tracks. "You aren't running away, are you?"

With a smile, Weiss stepped towards the bed. "From you- never."

Sydney returned the smile. "How are you doing?"

"Fantastic- now that you're back. We've all missed you." He paused. "Vaughn said…he, uh…"

"Weiss," Sydney cut him off. "I know."

"You do?" Weiss couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice.

"Yes and at the moment it is a topic that I want to avoid, so how about you sit down and fill me in on everything that I have missed."

Weiss sat down but did not speak, his face a mixture of curiosity and fear.

"Weiss?" Sydney prompted him.

He looked up. "Do you really remember nothing of the past two years?"

Sydney nodded. "The last thing I have is passing out after the fight with Allison."

"Nothing? Not even the teeniest, tiniest idea of _anything_ that you might have done?"

"No," Sydney let out a small laugh at his insistence but cut short when she saw the expression on his face. "Weiss, what?"

"Well, the thing is…" Weiss leant forward in his seat. "I knew, Syd. I knew that you were alive."


	2. We All Do

**RoutineRiot, Muddy Poodle, sydcasy, ILOVEALIAS4EVER & Shniblet47: **Thank you all for your reviews. They were greatly appreciated.

**Muddy Poodle: **How Weiss knew is explained in this chapter.

**ILOVEALIAS4EVER:** Sydney and Vaughn's relationship is important to this story, but will not be playing the same big, fluffy role that it has in all of my other stories. I have taken a different track with fic, choosing to focus more on the friendship between Syd and Weiss. It's something that I haven't done, but have always wanted to. The relationship depeicted between Syd and Weiss was one of my favourite things about season three.  
That being said, it is a fic of mine, so Syd and Vaughn will definitely play a part- just not intitially. More towards the conclusion of the story.

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* * *

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**Chapter Two:  
We All Do**

_"Yes and at the moment it is a topic that I want to avoid, so how about you sit down and fill me in on everything that I have missed."_

_Weiss sat down but did not speak, his face a mixture of curiosity and fear._

"_Weiss?" Sydney prompted him._

_He looked up. "Do you really remember nothing of the past two years?"_

_Sydney nodded. "The last thing I have is passing out after the fight with Allison."_

"_Nothing? Not even the teeniest, tiniest idea of anything that you might have done?"_

"_No," Sydney let out a small laugh at his insistence but cut short when she saw the expression on his face. "Weiss, what?"_

"_Well, the thing is…" Weiss leant forward in his seat. "I knew, Syd. I knew that you were alive."_

Sydney stared at Weiss, her brow deeply furrowed. "What?"

"I knew that you were alive," Weiss repeated, running a hand through his hair. "I knew that you weren't really dead."

"How?" Sydney asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"You told me."

* * *

**FOURTEEN MONTHS EARLIER**

_With a shaky breath Sydney pulled the car to a stop, her eyes trained on the building in front of her. She was taking a huge risk by doing this, but there was not a chance that she was giving up this opportunity._

_Her heart had leapt when they sent her to Washington for a mission. Unbeknownst to them she had organised this detour on her trip back. If she played her cards right they would never know that she had been back to Los Angeles._

_All the lights were off and given the time Sydney knew that Vaughn wasn't home. As an image of his face filled her mind, Sydney's stomach started to churn. She could not help but think of what was waiting for her when she returned to them. If only she could see Vaughn face to face. To look him in the eyes and tell him everything. How desperately she wanted to do that._

_But she couldn't. It wasn't an option- the consequences would be too dire._

_The sound of an approaching car caused her heart to skip a beat. The beam of the headlight prevented her from seeing who was inside, but instinctively Sydney knew._

_And she was right. The car pulled up outside Vaughn's house and after a few moments he climbed out of the passenger side. Curious, Sydney tried to catch a glance at the driver, but all she got was a flash of blonde hair before they drove away._

_Sydney's eyes turned back to Vaughn. He looked exactly the way he did the last time she had seen him. A deep ache burst within her, teamed with a yearning to touch him. To fell the stubble that lined his chin, or his hands and…_

_Sydney froze, and watched in horror as Vaughn fumbled with his keys, dropping them. He bent down, picked them up and then, as if in slow motion, he straightened up, turning and looking around. Like something was telling him to do so, his eyes fell on Sydney._

_For a split second she hoped that he had not recognized her, but as his eyes widened alarmingly and he stepped forward, she knew that he had._

_Wasting no time, she turned the key in the ignition and drove off. Vaughn couldn't know. Things would turn catastrophic if they discovered that she had been here._

_As she navigated the streets of Los Angeles with an old familiarity, Sydney realized what she could do. There was one person who she could go to for help. But she had to hurry; there wouldn't be much time._

_**xxxxx**_

_"All right, all right, all right," Weiss muttered at the relentless knocking on his front door. He waited a couple more seconds before turning the knob, wanting to make whoever it was wait for their impatience. "What is—" He could not get another word out as the person on the other side flew in, cover his mouth with their hand and slamming the door behind them._

_"Please, whatever you do, you have to be quiet," they hissed and it was then that Weiss realized who was standing there. Ripping Sydney's hand from his mouth, he stepped back in stunned shock._

_"What the hell…"_

_"I know, I know this is insane but I don't have time to explain," Sydney replied urgently. "I need your help."_

_"Who are you?" Weiss demanded._

_"Weiss, it's me."_

_He shook his head fervently. "Sydney Bristow died in a house fire nine months ago. I know about Project Helix, so why don't you just tell me who you are."_

_"Weiss, please." She reached out a hand to him, but he stepped away. "You have to believe me."_

_"We scattered her ashes. I don't—"_

_"It's me. I am the one who sent you a plant when my mother shot you in the jugular. Do you remember that? Or how you referred to the space off the JTF as the flirting corner. How about the time that Vaughn was under suspicion- you were the one who activated the GPS on his car so that I could go and warn him. Though maybe you need the time that Vaughn and I shared our first kiss to jog your memory- you were standing right there talking about kicking people's asses."_

_Weiss's face had turned a pale shade of grey. "Oh my god…Sydney?"_

_She nodded. "I told you it was me." She gave him a small smile. "How's about a little sugar?"_

_Without hesitation, Weiss stepped forward, wrapping her in a tight hug. "I don't have time to explain, but I need your help."_

_"What for?"_

_"Nobody can know that I am alive, or that I have been in Los Angeles. You can't tell anybody this."_

_"But—"_

_"No. The people who took me, the people that have me working for them, if they found out I came here—"_

_"Syd, we can protect you. You're home, you don't have to leave."_

_"You don't understand. The work that I am doing, it's dangerous. These people, if I am going to keep…hope…to have something to…if I am to have any future whatsoever I need to appear dead."_

_Weiss frowned. "Sydney, what—"_

_"Will you help me?" Sydney cut in._

_"Of course I will. What do you need?"_

_"Vaughn saw me and my guess is that he'll be here in minutes. You need to convince him that he was seeing things. I can't have him looking for me, or getting the CIA to look for me. Lives will be lost if that happens."_

_"Sydney, if Vaughn saw you that is going to take a hell of a lot of convincing."_

_"You are his best friend, Weiss. Please. Too many people have already been hurt because of this and if I am found out it will only get worse. People will die. People that I care about…these people, they will stop at nothing."_

_"Look," Weiss said, "I can't promise anything, but I will do all that I can."_

**xxxxx**

_Sydney had been gone not even a minute when Weiss heard the squeal of tyres outside and then the sound of feet approaching his front door._

_The knocking on the door was loud and incessant. Weiss stood inside, his hand hovering over the doorknob. Drawing in a deep breath he grasped it and pulled it open._

_"Weiss," Vaughn let out a loud sigh, his eyes wide. "I…she's alive," he announced, stepping through the doorway. "She's alive."_

_"Who?" Weiss asked._

_"Who else?" Vaughn exclaimed. "Sydney!"_

_Weiss softened his expression. "Vaughn, don't do this to yourself. You are just starting to get past it all."_

_"This is different," Vaughn insisted. "I saw her."_

_"What? No, Vaughn, you couldn't have. It must have been someone else."_

_"I would know those eyes anywhere. She's alive, Weiss. We have to find her."_

_"Did you speak to her?"_

_"No. She was sitting in a car. She drove off when I looked at her."_

_"Why would Sydney do that?" Weiss pressed. "Why wouldn't she speak to you?"_

_"I…I…that doesn't matter. All that matters is that she is alive!"_

_"Vaughn listen to yourself. Sydney died."_

_Vaughn could only shake his head fervently and Weiss was beginning to feel an impending sense of failure. Who was he kidding? Like he ever had a chance at succeeding at this._

_But at this point the sound of a car pulling up outside caused Vaughn to look out the still open front door. "Weiss," he grasped his friend on the arm. "Look."_

_Weiss did so and almost choked when he saw Sydney sitting behind the steering wheel, looking directly at Vaughn. For a moment he had no idea what to do, but then a split second later he realized what Sydney was up to._

_"Did you…" Vaughn stepped out the door as he car drove away. "Did you see that?"_

_Weiss paused. "See what?"_

_"The car…Sydney…the car…"_

_"Vaughn," Weiss came up behind him, placing a hand in his shoulder. "There was nothing there."_

_"But…" Vaughn faltered. "You didn't see it?" Weiss shook his head. "But…oh god. I am going crazy."_

_"No, you're not. You're just confused."_

_"Oh really?"_

_"Yes, really. You had your first date with Lauren tonight, didn't you? Your first date since Sydney died," Weiss started. "You are just freaking out about moving on."_

_"But what if that's not all?" Vaughn asked. "What if she—"_

_"Vaughn, I know how much you want this to be real, but it's not. It can't be." Weiss said, gently. "You scattered her ashes…Sydney is dead."_

_"I know," Vaughn muttered. "I just wish…"_

_"We all do," Weiss said, quietly. "We all do."_


	3. Suddenly Wide Awake

**ILOVEALIAS4EVER, Shniblet47, Vanessa & agent belle: **Thank you all so much for your feedback.

**ILOVEALIAS4EVER: **So far I have written 10 chapters, and there is looking like there is going to be about 15 in all. No, Vaughn and Lauren aren't married, they are only enagaged.

**agent belle: **To be honest, I have no idea where I find the time either (especially at the moment- uni + teaching rounds + work is driving me crazy!). I tend to write in the evenings, when I'm sitting in front of the TV, or depending on what time I have to get up in the morning, I might churn out a chapter in bed before I go to sleep. The things is, sometimes I can write a chapter in under an hour, while others can take days. I try and make the time when I can because I am enjoying writing these fics at the moment.

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**Chapter Three:  
Suddenly Wide Awake**

**_FOURTEEN MONTHS EARLIER… _**

_...If only she could see Vaughn face to face. To look him in the eyes and tell him everything. How desperately she wanted to do that…_

_…Vaughn couldn't know. Things would turn catastrophic if they discovered that she had been here…_

_…"You are his best friend, Weiss. Please. Too many people have already been hurt because of this and if I am found out it will only get worse. People will die. People that I care about…these people, they will stop at nothing."…_

_…"Vaughn, I know how much you want this to be real, but it's not. It can't be." Weiss said, gently. "You scattered her ashes…Sydney is dead."  
__"I know," Vaughn muttered. "I just wish…"  
__"We all do," Weiss said, quietly. "We all do."…

* * *

_

Sydney sunk back into her pillows as she tried to digest Weiss's tale.

"It took a few more sessions with a lot of beer for Vaughn to accept that you were dead…and tonight I had to go to him and tell him that he was right."

Sydney looked at Weiss. "I said that people that I cared about would die?"

Weiss nodded. "Yeah. That kind of sealed the whole convincing Vaughn deal for me."

"What…what the hell have I been involved with? Who are these people? The ones I said I was working for?"

"I have no idea," Weiss replied. "But I am guessing that's what we are going to find out."

Sydney's eyes widened slightly. "You are going to help me?"

"Of course I am," Weiss said. "I've spent the past fourteen months worried sick about you. I want these answers as much as you."

"But what are our chances of getting answers?" Sydney mused aloud. "We have nothing, no starting point. What—"

"Hey," Weiss held up a hand. "I am positive that if I go over absolutely everything that you said to me we'll have some starting points. I can't imagine that you would have left me with absolutely nothing. That is not your style, Syd."

"Ok then," Sydney nodded. "What exactly did I say? Word for word?"

"Why don't we wait until you get out of here," Weiss suggested. "I know that this is totally clichéd but you've been through a bit. Give yourself a rest before you start stressing yourself again."

Frustrated, Sydney blew a strand of hair out of her face as she threw herself back against the pillows. "I don't think you understand how infuriating this is. I don't want to wait another second. I don't think that I can."

Weiss paused, considering his answer. "I may not be feeling the extent of what you're going through but don't tell me that I don't understand. You showed up on my doorstep, after being dead for nine months, told me that I had to make sure nobody knew you were alive and then disappeared again. I know as much as you do and for the past fourteen months I have been doing my head in, wondering what was happening to you. Fourteen months is nothing compared to a couple of days."

"You're right," Sydney said quietly, "and I am sorry…I also owe you a huge thank-you."

"You do?"

"You kept my secret. I shouldn't have put you in that position- it was selfish of me—"

"Syd—"

"Let me finish. I just wanted to say thank you- you really came through for me." She smiled. "But then I'm not surprised- you always come through, like a good friend should."

"Yup, that's me," Weiss quipped. "The eternal friend."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

Weiss simply raised his eyebrows. "And what would you call having to keep the fact that you were alive secret for over a year?"

Sydney laughed. "You got me there."

* * *

"Lauren, what are you doing?" Vaughn could only stand and watch as she pulled a suitcase from the top of the wardrobe and threw it on the bed. 

"Isn't it obvious, Michael?" she bit back bitterly. "Sydney's alive and so now I have to let the two of you go back to your perfect little existence."

"Lauren—"

"For our entire relationship I have been competing with her memory, and not just from you, from everybody. People at work, your friends- especially Eric." She threw a handful of shirt into the suitcase. "How am I supposed to compete with the real thing?"

"If you would just—"

"Because that is what all of this is about, isn't it? So I will just make it easy for you, Michael. I will leave, you don't have to ask."

"Lauren would you just stop!" Vaughn burst out. "I never said anything about us breaking up."

'_But a part of you wants to, right?_' a small voice in the back of his head piped up. '_Sydney really was the only one for you_.'

"Forgive me, Michael, but I know how much you loved her," Lauren replied. "You told me yourself. What else am I supposed to think when as soon as I walk through the front door you announce—"

"Lauren, I told you because you had a right to know. I never said anything about things changing between us. I just didn't want for you to hear it from someone else. I respect you too much to let that happen."

Lauren was quiet for a few seconds. "Respect. So that is all you feel for me right now?"

"Lauren, don't be ridiculous. You know that I love you."

'_Though not as much as Sydney._'

"Don't call me ridiculous, Michael. Surely you can understand that I am feeling threatened. This is not a typical ex that we are talking about…technically she isn't even an ex! She died, you didn't break up."

"Lauren, please—"

"What does this mean, Michael? Sydney's return? What does this mean for us? Because you can't possibly be that naïve to believe that things won't change. They've already started to."

"I don't know what it means," Vaughn answered truthfully.

"Do you still love her?"

"Lauren, I am with you. I asked you to marry me."

With a short nod, Lauren silently began to unpack the suitcase while Vaughn turned and walked out of the room. Both were well aware that he hadn't actually answered her question.

* * *

_Guarding thy dreams from all terror and fear,  
Sunlight has pass'd and the twilight has gone,  
Slumber, my darling, the night's coming on.  
Sweet visions attend thy sleep,  
Fondest, dearest to me,  
While others their revels keep,  
I will watch over thee._

Sydney woke with a start, covered in a cold sweat. Her night had been dogged by continuous nightmares- all featuring a deep haunting voice singing to a melody of screams and tears. There were no images, just black…and that voice.

Furiously, Sydney rubbed her upper arms. She wasn't cold but she could not stop shivering. Inside she felt sick. It had only been her first night back. If things were going to continue along this path she wasn't sure hoe she was going to get through the days. Nothing made sense to her anymore. She had closed her eyes and when they opened any sense of consistency, control and familiarity was gone. The things that she gained comfort in…the things that she craved.

"Good morning!"

The door flew open and Weiss walked in, looking much more chipper than the night before. Though as he caught sight of Sydney, he stopped short.

"Syd, are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she lied, pulling the blanket up higher in an attempt to stop her sahkes. "I just didn't get a lot sleep."

"Oh well, then maybe what I have to say will cheer you up."

"I'm listening."

"I just ran into your dad at the coffee machine. You are going to be discharged today- free to go home."

Sydney could not bring herself to smile. "That's great…but what home?"

"Well, I happened across a little info last night," Weiss replied. "An apartment on my block will be up for lease in several days. I spoke to my landlord, sang your praises and it's yours if you want it."

A small smile crossed Sydney's face. "I think that I do…but until then?"

"Until then you can keep me company. I've got this awesome guest room and it is about time that somebody wore it in."

Sydney's smile had reached a grin at this point. "Is there anything that you haven't thought of?"

"Yes." Weiss nodded sombrely. "Dinner tonight…I've no idea what to have."

* * *

Weiss held up one of the menus placed by the phone. "Thai?" 

Sydney yawned from her position on the couch. "I'm fine with whatever," she replied, too tired to even contemplate making a decision. It never failed to amaze her that mental exhaustion was just as hard, if not harder, on the body as physical exhaustion. She had basically done nothing since her return but had not felt this drained in her life.

"All right then," Weiss said. "I guess that I have free reign over the ordering."

"Yup," Sydney said, stretching out, placing her head on the arm of the couch.

"Right…" he trailed off, a knock on the door distracting him. "I'll get that."

Sydney did not reply and instead closed her eyes. The idea of going to bed without dinner was highly enticing…even with the fear of more dreams. However, seconds later, Weiss walked back into the living area.

"Uh, Syd."

"Hmm?"

"Its…its Vaughn."

Sydney's eyes flew open and she sat up straight. She was suddenly wide awake.


	4. Where I Belong

**ILOVEALIAS4EVER, smilez4eva, Kate Bridges & Shniblet47: **Thank you all so much for your feedback.

**Kate Bridges: **Glad that you approve of my music choices. It is a real process when I decide to use music somewhere in my stories- it usually ends up with me pulling out my CD collection and going through the whole thing trying to find the perfect song!

**Shniblet 47: **No, Lauren is not evil in this story. There was too much that I wanted to do with Syd, Weiss and Vaughn, and didn't want another plot line to detract from the main story.

**ILOVEALIAS4EVER: **I mistake when answering you question last chapter. I looked at my book with Dirty Little Secret and gave you the chapter numbers for that one (total min blank that day). Anyway, for this fic, I have written 9 chapters and it looks like there will be 12 in all.

**

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**Chapter Four:  
Where I Belong**

_"Right…" he trailed off, a knock on the door distracting him. "I'll get that."_

_Sydney did not reply and instead closed her eyes. The idea of going to bed without dinner was highly enticing…even with the fear of more dreams. However, seconds later, Weiss walked back into the living area._

_"Uh, Syd."_

_"Hmm?"_

_"Its…its Vaughn."_

_Sydney's eyes flew open and she sat up straight. She was suddenly wide awake._

"Syd," Weiss started. "Are you up for this? Because—"

"It's fine," Sydney cut him off. "I'll see him."

Weiss turned back to the front door and when he returned, Vaughn was right behind him.

At the sight of Vaughn Sydney found herself unable to speak. What was she supposed to say? "Hi, heard you were engaged, congratulations"…she didn't think so.

"Um," Weiss spoke up, breaking the silence. "I think I'll just drive in and get dinner." Grabbing his keys, he walked out, leaving Sydney and Vaughn alone.

After several more, very long, silent moment, Vaughn stepped forward. "Hi."

"Hi," Sydney replied.

"I," he shifted awkwardly on his feet. "I wanted to come and see you at the hospital but…there were…"

"I know," Sydney said, realizing that Weiss had not told Vaughn everything. If he was aware that his best friend had known that she was alive, there was no chance he would be acting so reserved. It surprised Sydney, to think that she hadn't thought of this until then, hadn't asked Weiss what he had told Vaughn.

"You do?"

Sydney nodded. "My dad told me about your impending nuptials."

"Well," Vaughn cleared his throat. "They're not all that impending. We only just got engaged."

"Impending or not, you are still getting married," Sydney replied bluntly. She wanted the topic to change. The last thing she wanted to hear was Vaughn trying to explain. All she was feeling was hurt and could only see it as him giving excuses.

"I just…I just wanted to see how you are," Vaughn said, taking another step forward.

"Don't," Sydney shook her head. "Don't ask me that. Because you are not going to get the answer that you want…that you need."

"Who said anything about wanting a specific answer?" Vaughn asked blankly.

"Oh, come on, Vaughn, you want to hear that even though returning after two years has been 'slightly difficult' I am doing pretty well, that I should be A-Ok in a matter of days." She paused, standing up. "Because if you hear that then you'll be able to go back to your life without a backwards glance."

"That is not why I came here," Vaughn protested.

"Fine then. Do you want to know how I really am?" Sydney asked as she walked towards the kitchen and opened the fridge. "I am pretty much at the lowest that I have ever been. Finding out the truth about SD-6, nothing compared to this. Being betrayed by my mother- a breeze. I could do something about those situations. But this one…" She pulled out a beer and without offering one to Vaughn, took a mouthful. "And this is not just about you. You are such a small part of this…I woke up like it was one night. Two years, Vaughn. _Two years_. Don't even try to pretend that you understand."

"I wasn't going to," Vaughn said quietly. "I came by because I had…I wanted to see you. We were all forced to say good-bye to you, Sydney. Forever." He paused, rubbing the nape of his neck. "Having you back, alive and safe…if we could only ask for one thing, that would be it."

"Glad to know that you got what you wanted," Sydney replied, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice. "If only I knew what happened to me, then we'd all be celebrating, wouldn't we?"

She hated the way she sounded, all sarcastic and hostile, but she couldn't help it. This had all been festering inside her since she opened her eyes and she needed to lash out.

"Don't let this distort you, Syd," Vaughn said as if reading the emotions inside her. "Yes, what happened was unfathomable and horrific, but don't let it eat at you until you are unrecognisable. We all care about you too much to watch that happen."

Sydney's eyes narrowed. "And why do you care, Vaughn? You shouldn't, you know. You've got somebody else to care about now. You are officially free of Sydney Bristow and the dramas that serve as her shadow."

"Sydney—"

"Please, just go," Sydney said, her tone dull. "Enough has been said already. Let's not make it worse…just go."

* * *

About thirty minutes later Weiss returned, carrying several bags of Thai take out. Walking in he discovered Sydney on the couch, staring blankly into space. 

"Syd? You ok?"

She turned and looked at him. "You didn't tell Vaughn what you knew…that I came to you."

"No," he replied, sitting beside her. "I didn't."

"Why not?"

"Because you asked me not to tell anyone. Until you say that it's ok, that information will stay with me."

Sydney let out a long breath. "I think that maybe we should keep it to ourselves…for now. Things are crazy and confusing enough as it is. If news gets out that you knew and that I came back during those two years, it is going to stir up everything even more."

"Well then, if it's just the two of us, then we've got our work cut out, don't we?"

Sydney nodded. "You still in?"

"Of course…the only question is, where do we start?"

"Dinner," Sydney said with a small smile.

* * *

_Sydney stood on the side of the street, watching the scene unfold. She could not speak, she could not move, there was not a thing she could do to stop it from evolving._

_She watched as Vaughn turned around and saw her sitting in the car. She watched as she did not drive away._

_With a loud cry, Vaughn rushed forward, towards the car. But with each step a bullet hole appeared on his body. No shots were heard, but every time he placed a foot down, there was another gaping and bleeding wound._

_Sydney watched herself in the car. She was saying nothing. Just watched, her expression sad, almost as if she had been expecting this to happen._

_Vaughn continued to move forward, even though in obvious pain. He was determined to make it to the car. Ten steps to go. Five steps to go, four, three, two…_

_With one step left, Vaughn crumpled to the ground in a bright red pool of his own blood._

_And Sydney could only watch as a loud wail filled the air and…_

Sydney's eyes flew open, the crying still ringing in her ears. It wasn't until she tasted salt that she realized it was her who was sobbing.

* * *

"Good morning," Weiss said, holding out a mug to Sydney as she walked up to the kitchen bench. "Sleep well?" 

"Uh," Sydney fought back a yawn, failing miserably. "Not really."

"Maybe you shouldn't be going back to work today. Take some time off, giver yourself a break. It might do you some good."

Sydney shook her head vehemently. "The last thing I need to do is sit around by myself all day, driving myself crazy with the what, where, who, why and how. I need to go back."

"So that way you can spend all day in the Rotunda surrounded by people and driving yourself crazy with the what, where, who, why and how?" Weiss said with a smile.

Sydney grinned back. "Exactly."

* * *

Walking back into the JTF was completely surreal, but with Jack and Weiss flanking her sides, Sydney felt strong. 

"There are so many new faces," she murmured, gazing around the bustling space.

"Yeah, well the ones that count are still here," Weiss replied as he spotted Dixon and Marshall walking over.

"Hmm," Sydney smiled, not wanted to think about the major omission from that group.

"Syd!" Marshall reached her first, throwing his arms around her. "Oh my god! I can't believe that you are here…" He trailed off, taking a step back. "You do remember me, right? Marshall Flinkman? I run—"

"Marshall," Sydney cut him off. "Of course I remember you. How could I forget?"

"Well," Marshall shrugged. "Two years is kinda—" He was silenced by a _look_ from Jack. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Sydney said with a small laugh. "And anyway, dad told me about Carrie. Congratulations."

"Thanks," Marshall beamed, his elation more than evident. "Who would have thought, hey?"

"Well, you are going to be a great dad. And you," Sydney turned to Dixon. "Congratulations as well, Mr Director."

"Now, I don't want to hear that coming from you. Dixon, Syd. Just Dixon is fine," he said, stepping forward and wrapping her in a tight hug. "Ok," he whispered. "It really is you, you really are back."

"Right where I belong," Sydney whispered back.

"Ok," Dixon said as they broke their embrace. "Now that the reunion is over, are you ready to get back into this?"

Sydney looked around the Rotunda, and then at the four family members standing in front of her. "As I just said, I am right where I belong."


	5. Hiding The Truth

**islandbluebird, shniblet47, ILOVEALIAS4EVER & agent belle: **Thank you all so much for your feedback.

**islandbluebird: **I hate to tell you, but Will won't be making an appearance in this fic :(

I am so, so sorry for how long it has taken me to update this fic. I have been on teaching rounds and have been crazy busy planning lessons for year 10 and 12 English. Anyway, I finally got on the computer last week to update and the damn thing would not start up. It been at the repair since...it still bloody is. I being a little naughty right now and using the computers in the staff room to update this fic :)  
So again, I am so sorry for the wait and here's the next chapter.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Five:  
Hiding The Truth?**

"_Marshall," Sydney cut him off. "Of course I remember you. How could I forget?"_

"_Well," Marshall shrugged. "Two years is kinda—" He was silenced by a look from Jack. "Sorry."_

"_It's fine," Sydney said with a small laugh. "And anyway, dad told me about Carrie. Congratulations."_

"_Thanks," Marshall beamed, his elation more than evident. "Who would have thought, hey?"_

"_Well, you are going to be a great dad. And you," Sydney turned to Dixon. "Congratulations as well, Mr Director."_

"_Now, I don't want to hear that coming from you. Dixon, Syd. Just Dixon is fine," he said, stepping forward and wrapping her in a tight hug. "Ok," he whispered. "It really is you, you really are back."_

"_Right where I belong," Sydney whispered back._

"_Ok," Dixon said as they broke their embrace. "Now that the reunion is over, are you ready to get back into this?"_

_Sydney looked around the Rotunda, and then at the four family members standing in front of her. "As I just said, I am right where I belong."

* * *

_

"Ok," Weiss dumped the box in his hands onto the coffee table. "It's been a few days back at the JTF- what's your judgement?"

Sydney, who had been enjoying popping a sheet of bubble wrap, paused. "Well…aside from the mass of new faces and lack of some familiar ones, I almost feel, and please no joke about the whole blink and you'll miss two years things, it's almost like I never left. The CIA is still chasing the same old bad guys."

"Yeah? Well, having you back makes that place feel completely normal for the rest of us."

"Normal? Now I wish I could I knew what that felt like," Sydney replied dryly, returning to the bubble wrap.

"Not even a little bit?" Weiss pressed. "You've got yourself a new apartment, you're back at work and right now you are popping bubble wrap. Is there anything more normal than that?"

Sydney allowed herself a smile before sobering up. "So I look normal on the surface- big deal. I haven't even started trying to figure out what is going on inside."

"That night?" Weiss asked, sitting down in her brand new couch. "The whole people you care about thing?"

Sydney nodded. "I was obviously _me_. I wouldn't have gone to Vaughn and then to you. I was under no influence- I was coherent and making my own decisions. That I can tell- but what I need to know is what I was doing and why."

"You weren't under no influence- you had to be under some sort of threat," Weiss put forth. "You would do anything to protect the ones that you care about."

"I know…but I feel like there is something more to it." Sydney paused, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yes, I would do all I could to protect my friends and family, but I would also not just sit back and comply with whoever these people were. Because the ones that I care about are perfectly capable of looking after themselves as well. But what else what keeping me there? Whether they had something over me, or something that I wanted to find from them, I don't know."

"You know," Weiss mused. "I would put my money on that they had something or knew something that you wanted. When you are up against a threat, or anything along those lines, you fight back. You would only play their rules for a hidden agenda of some sort."

"That's what I was thinking…and it fits in with the memory loss. It could be a way to explain it."

"Meaning you discovered what you wanted and they found out?" Weiss put forth. "And then made sure that you wouldn't remember?"

"That makes some sort of sense, doesn't it? Killing me would make a lot more sense in that situation, buy maybe they—ugh! I am so sick of referring to them as 'they'. Does the CIA really have no clue as to who abducted me?"

"Syd, these people had us believing that you were dead. We are dealing with masters of deception here—"

"Masters of deception," Sydney muttered. "Now why does that make me think of Sloane?"

"Syd, he has been in jail, solitary confinement, since a month after your disappearance. The CIA is 99 per cent sure that he was not involved."

"There is still that one percent, and when it comes to Sloane…"

"Syd," Weiss put a hand on her shoulder. "He was caught. He is being punished for his crimes. For what he did to you, to Danny and to Francie. The thought of him does not need to cross your mind anymore."

"Easier said than done."

"I know but, let's face it, you've got plenty to distract yourself with, don't you?"

Sydney let out a small laugh. "Did you just try and put a silver lining on my abduction and missing two years?"

"Yes," Weiss nodded. "Yes, I did."

With a shake of her head, Sydney picked up the bubble wrap again. "Only you, Eric Weiss, could get away with that."

* * *

The following morning, when Weiss arrived at the JTF, he found a note waiting for him on his desk. 

_Brainwave!!!  
__Got psych evals all morning…  
__how many more do I need to sit  
__before 'routine' becomes 'excessive'?  
__Anyway, need to talk, meet for  
__lunch across the road? _

With a small smile, Weiss crumpled the note wondering just what Sydney had come up with. Only she could have a brainwave in relation to something she had absolutely no memory of.

After sending her a text to say yes to lunch, Weiss turned to the pile of paperwork that had been slowly accumulating in his desk. But before he could even get to work, his mobile rang.

"This is Weiss."

"Hey."

"Vaughn." Weiss sat forward slightly. He hadn't heard from his friend since the 'conversation' with Sydney. Weiss had been given no details from either of them, but it didn't take a genius to assume what had gone down. "What's up."

"Nothing. I…ugh. Things are just crazy intense at the moment. Lauren is barely talking to me- I think that she expects me to walk out at any moment. And with what happened between me and Sys the other…let's not get into that," Vaughn exhaled loudly. "I need a distraction. I need to get away from all of this. Are free at lunch?"

"Uh no," Weiss cleared his throat. "I've got this mass of paperwork and…"

"Hey, no worries. I'll just have to head down to the rink by myself."

"Is there anything better than a puck to take your frustrations out on?" Weiss asked. He felt uncomfortable with the white lie he had just told, but he couldn't tell Vaughn the reason he was busy was because he was meeting Sydney- she was what he was feeling awful over. The thought of her was what he needed to get away from.

"Not that I know of," Vaughn was saying. "Next time, hey?"

"Yeah, next time."

* * *

"Right," Weiss said before even sitting down. "What is this brilliant brainwave?" 

"Hope," Sydney replied. "Hope is the key."

"You getting all philosophical on me, Bristow?"

"I am not talking about now and I am not talking about the future. I am talking about those two years," Sydney said. "I was running over our conversations all last night- what you said that I said. The word hope is the only thing that doesn't make sense."

"Sorry to burst your bubble, Syd, but everything you said that night made absolutely no sense."

"Yes, I know. But in terms of the subject- all death and danger and destruction, hope is incongruous. It stands out. It has to be a message of some sort."

"You think that what you were searching for hope of some sort?" Weiss asked, sounding dubious.

"Well not 'hope' literally. It has got to be a code, or maybe it's the name of a mission or even an item of some sort," Sydney pondered aloud. "We agree that I was only working with these people for a higher agenda. Hope has to lead to that agenda- it just has to."

"So we are in search of hope?" Weiss said.

Sydney nodded. "Just like nearly every person on this planet, hey?"

Weiss let out a snort of laughter. "We should start with the obvious- any mission names that could be related to hope. We can get started on that after lunch."

Sydney shook her head. "Not me. After this morning Barnett has ordered me to take the afternoon off…and there's something that I need to do."

* * *

Sydney stood awkwardly by the door as the class files out. She had caught the last few minutes of Vaughn's lesson and she had found herself smiling at the sound of him speaking his natural tongue. 

When the last student exited, Sydney took a deep breath and stepped hesitantly through the door. Vaughn was at the front of the room, gathering his belongings from the desk.

"Hi," she said quietly.

Vaughn started at the sound of her voice. He looked up meeting her eyes, but remained silent.

"So…" Sydney took a step forward. "You're a French teacher?"

Vaughn gave a short nod. "Yes."

"I…I want to apologise for the other night," Sydney let out. "I was in a bad place and needed to lash out and you were the one who copped it. I shouldn't have out that upon you."

Vaughn gave a small shrug. "Well…it wasn't the first time that I've been on the opposite end of one of your outbursts."

"Vaughn."

"Right. Sorry." He halted, biting his bottom lip. "Look, Syd, you don't have to apologise. I understand. But there is something that you need to understand."

"What?"

"Losing you…it almost killed me. It was like my oxygen supply had been cut off. Each day was like being surrounded by a thick, suffocating fog…it got to the point where I had to make choice. Continue on that path until the point of destruction, or to actually start living again. I chose to go." He looked Sydney directly in the eyes. "I thought that would be what you would want."

"I…" Sydney found it difficult to speak and so instead nodded.

"To have you look at me as if you hated me…" Vaughn gave a small shake of his head. "That was the worst I felt since walking into your apartment the night of the fire."

Sydney took a few more steps towards him. "I kind of keep forgetting that this situation is as insane for everyone as it is for me," she said quietly. "I don't hate you, Vaughn. I'm hurt, but I could never hate you."

"So…can I ask you how you are? Because I genuinely want to know."

Sydney gave a small smile. "I'm all over the place…thankfully Weiss has been keeping me same. He's definitely a rock, that one."

"Don't I know it," Vaughn murmured, thinking back to the time after Sydney's death.

"How does he do it?" Sydney asked. "I had an awful morning full of interviews and psych evals, and all it took was lunch with him and I felt relaxed."

"Yeah," Vaughn agreed and then straightened slightly. "Lunch? Today?"

"Uh huh," Sydney replied. "Why?"

"Nothing," Vaughn smiled and then glanced at his watch. "I'm sorry but I have a staff meeting and—"

"I'll go," Sydney replied, turning in her heel. At the door, she stopped and looked back at Vaughn. "Thanks…talking to you…it helps."

"Same here," Vaughn said quietly. When Sydney had gone, he turned back to the papers on his desk, trying hard to fight the small gnawing sensation building in the pit of his stomach. Weiss had said he was working, but that wasn't the case.

Why on earth would his best friend be hiding the truth?


	6. Need To Know

**islandbluebird: **Thank you for your feedback.

**julian's angel 2010: **Thank you for all those reviews.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Six:  
Need To Know**

_Sydney gave a small smile. "I'm all over the place…thankfully Weiss has been keeping me same. He's definitely a rock, that one."_

"_Don't I know it," Vaughn murmured, thinking back to the time after Sydney's death. _

"_How does he do it?" Sydney asked. "I had an awful morning full of interviews and psych evals, and all it took was lunch with him and I felt relaxed."_

"_Yeah," Vaughn agreed and then straightened slightly. "Lunch? Today?"_

"_Uh huh," Sydney replied. "Why?"_

"_Nothing," Vaughn smiled and then glanced at his watch. "I'm sorry but I have a staff meeting and—"_

"_I'll go," Sydney replied, turning in her heel. At the door, she stopped and looked back at Vaughn. "Thanks…talking to you…it helps."_

"_Same here," Vaughn said quietly. When Sydney had gone, he turned back to the papers on his desk, trying hard to fight the small gnawing sensation building in the pit of his stomach. Weiss had said he was working, but that wasn't the case._

_Why on earth would his best friend be hiding the truth?

* * *

_

"Here you go," Weiss said as he leant over Sydney and placed a folder on her desk.

"What's this?" Sydney asked, looking up.

"Missions over the past two years that the CIA has investigated, with names that could possibly be related to the word 'hope'."

Sydney looked at the slim folder with dismay. "It doesn't look promising."

"It's just a start Syd," Weiss said. "Don't get all defeatist on me just yet."

Sydney gave a short nod. "I suppose…I'm just getting that sinking feeling that we are chasing a white rabbit."

"Uh, uh, uh," Weiss wagged a finger. "Positive thinking, Agent Bristow. Positive thinking."

"Ok, ok," Sydney let out a small laugh. "Hey, you wanna come over for dinner tonight?"

"That all depends on what you're cooking," Weiss quipped.

"Well, if that is the way you're gonna be then you can just have take out on your own."

"Now, now, we can't have that," Weiss said seriously. "How about I keep going with my research, you keep going with yours and then we can have some good dinner reading?"

"Sounds good."

"See you tonight then." With a pat on Sydney's shoulder, Weiss walked off.

* * *

Across the room, Jack noticed the interaction between Sydney and Weiss, but thought nothing of it. If anything he was glad to see his daughter smiling and laughing. 

"It hasn't taken them long, has it?"

The voice behind Jack caught Jack's attention and he turned. Two lower agents- Jack wasn't even sure of their names- were involved in a conversation.

"She's been back a week and she's already moving on with the best friend."

"Do you really think that?"

"Well, come on. the two of them are _always_ together. There has to be a reason for that."

"Perhaps," Jack bore down on the two agents with one of his famous death stares, "you could give me a reason as to why you are wasting our Government's time with meaningless and baseless gossip?"

"Uh…um…" Both the agents were struck dumb. Of all the people to overhear their conversation.

"Since you obviously cannot give me a satisfactory answer, I suggest that you keep your juvenile mouth closed and get to work. That is the reason we are all here, is it not?"

"Yes, sir." Both of them muttered and then scurried off.

Jack's eyes fell back on his daughter. They had been right about one thing. The fact that Sydney and Weiss had been spending a lot of time together. It was their reason that had been way off.

But he couldn't help but wonder if there was another reason explaining why they were barely out of each other's company.

* * *

Stupid. Completely stupid and paranoid. Vaughn had been trying to convince himself. There was no reason to stew over why Weiss had lied about lunch the other day. Sydney was a friend and she obviously needed him. Vaughn wasn't going to get petty over that…was he? 

Deciding to skip lunch in the staffroom, he instead settled in his office and picked up the phone.

"This is Weiss."

"Not saving the world today?"

"Of course I am," Weiss shot back. "With one inch of paperwork at a time."

"You sound how I feel- in need of burgers, beer and hockey. There's a local game on tonight. You up for it?"

"Ah…Syd's actually asked me around for dinner. I think she is still adjusting to the whole living alone thing."

"Oh…well, why doesn't Syd come as well? We can always use somebody who can appreciate the Zambonie."

"The thing is, we were planning on working over dinner," Weiss replied. "Maybe next time?"

"Yeah," Vaughn said stiffly. "Next time."

"Anyway, I should go. See you later, Vaughn."

"See you." Vaughn placed the phone in its receiver, with feeling of suspicion arising in his stomach again.

'_Friends_,' he reminded himself. '_They are just friends_.'

But jealousy was an incredibly strong force and it was going to take a lot more convincing than that.

* * *

"So, I was thinking." Weiss paused, taking a mouthful of coffee, "that maybe, for our next step, we should consider Rambaldi." 

Sydney stiffened slightly. "Why does it always come back to him?" she muttered.

The two of them had stopped at a café on their way to work the following morning. Having spent half the night reading notes, neither felt bothered enough to make their own breakfast.

"Syd, I am sceptical as you when it comes to that guy…but with the whacko's who worship him, it's kind of an obvious path to go down." He stabbed a apiece of pancake with his fork and looked up. "And in regards to the term 'hope', well, is that just me or does it scream Rambaldi?"

Sydney sighed, reaching into her bag and pulling out a notebook. "Yes, it does. But considering its breakfast, can we keep the topic of conversation away from that- at least until we have digested out meals."

"Fine with me." Weiss pointed at the notebook. "What's in there?"

"Um…" Sydney seemed hesitant. "I guess it's a journal."

Weiss placed his fork down, intrigued. "Ok…"

"I've been having these dreams…nightmares…every night since I returned. Some of them are just strange, others…they're awful."

Weiss didn't say anything, but he had already guessed that this was going on. After all, Sydney had spent several nights at his place. She was not the only on who had been woken by them.

"I'm not sure why I am telling you this…I think it's because I want you to read this."

"Syd, I'm not so sure that I should."

"It's ok. I've just written the dreams in here," Sydney interjected. "At the moment they make no sense, which means they're about what happened to me during those years. Maybe if you read them then you might pick up on something…or it might make us realize something in the future."

"Syd? A journal? You want me to read your journal?"

"It's just the dreams—" Sydney broke off, suddenly finding herself emotional. "I keep feeling that brick wall looming closer and closer- we need all the help we can get."

"Hey," Weiss reached across and grabbed one of her hands. "No brick wall. Not one word about that, ok? We will find the truth. Even if we do hit that wall, we will just turn around and take a different path."

Sydney forced a smile. "Ok," she nodded. "So, you'll read it?"

"Of course—"

"Weiss? Syd?"

The two of them looked up to see Vaughn standing beside their table, a cup of takeaway coffee in his hand.

"Oh hey," Weiss said, letting go of Sydney's hand and leaning back in his seat. "Pit stop before work?"

Vaughn nodded. "Coffee maker at home was broken," he replied, his voice sounding slightly strained.

Weiss misread the tone, thinking its source was stemming from Vaughn's problems with Lauren. "Ah well, a change of scenery ion the morning can do us all good."

"Right." Vaughn gave a nod towards the door. "I should go. I'll see you later."

Sydney watched as he walked away and then turned towards Weiss. "Is he angry at you or something?"

Weiss shook his head. "Nah, it's…" he trailed off.

"It's what?"

"You didn't hear this, ok…but I think that Lauren feels a bit threatened by your return. Things are kinda tense."

"Oh…" Sydney fell silent.

* * *

Outside the café, Vaughn walked briskly towards his car. There was no denying the molten ball of jealousy that was consuming him from the inside. 

'_What you saw was innocent_,' the quiet voice of reason pointed out, but Vaughn shoved it aside.

He reached his car but before he could open the door, his mobile rang. Pulling it out of his pocket, he looked at the called ID. It was Lauren.

After a second, he put it back in his pocket, letting it ring.

* * *

Late that afternoon, Sydney walked up to Weiss desk, folder in hand. "I know what you said about the brick wall—" 

"Ssh," Weiss put a finger to his lips, glancing around the Rotunda. "Is it just me or are people looking at me?"

Sydney let out a laugh. "It's just you."

"Or maybe they are looking at you," Weiss pondered.

"Can we have this conversation another time?" Sydney asked good-naturedly.

"Fine," Weiss sighed. "I was just trying to distract you from the whole brick wall thing, anyway."

"Then you should have come up with a better deterrent," Sydney quipped. "Anyway, I think I have found a way through the wall."

"What?" Weiss straightened up. "You have?"

"Yup. We are too limited. We need to expand our boundaries, or more specifically, our clearance."

"Am I to understand that you are giving me permission to divulge your little secret?"

Sydney nodded. "I am."

* * *

Jack paused in the entrance of Sydney's apartment when he spotted Weiss seated on the couch. When Sydney had invited him over, she had mentioned nothing of a third party. 

"Something tells me that this isn't just a casual visit," Jack said, heading towards an armchair opposite the couch.

"It isn't," Sydney said, taking a place next to Weiss. "We need your help, but before that, well…there's something you need to know."


	7. I Told Him

Again, another apology for the delay in the update. I went away for a week on year 8 camp, a part of teaching rounds, and returned only to disciver that the computer was not in fact fixed and that it needed to be put in for repairs again. Drama, drama, dramas...so, I am so sorry and hopefully I will be able to update more regularily as of now.

**sydcasy, Muddy Poodle, julian's angel 2010, islandbluebird, Valoriahn, seeley's sweetheart: **Thank you all for your feedback.

**

* * *

Chapter Seven:  
I Told Him**

_Jack paused in the entrance of Sydney's apartment when he spotted Weiss seated on the couch. When Sydney had invited him over, she had mentioned nothing of a third party._

_"Something tells me that this isn't just a casual visit," Jack said, heading towards an armchair opposite the couch._

"_It isn't," Sydney said, taking a place next to Weiss. "We need your help, but before that, well…there's something you need to know."

* * *

_

Jack was silent for a few moments, his eyes bearing down on both Sydney and Weiss.

"Is that all?" he finally asked.

Sydney glanced at Weiss. "Yes. That's all that's happened…so far."

"Well, I agree with you on hope," Jack said. "It's the right path to follow. What do you have so far?"

"Noth—" Sydney started to reply but was cut off by Weiss.

"Hang on," he sounded slightly confused. "You don't want to hurt me, or kill me, for…well, for keeping the fact that your daughter was alive a secret."

"Agent Weiss, my daughter obviously went to you for a specific reason," Jack replied. "I do not wish to kill you. In fact, I am thankful that you were intelligent enough to keep that secret and keep her safe."

"Oh," Weiss gave a short nod. "Right."

Sydney bit back a smile as she turned to Jack. "We have nothing so far and are quickly running out of options."

"My clearance?" Jack asked and Sydney nodded. "Tell me what you need and we can get a start on this first thing tomorrow."

* * *

When Vaughn walked into his and Lauren's house that evening he was greeted by two suitcases, one of which Lauren was perched upon. 

"What's going on?" he asked, dropping his bag off his shoulder.

"I think you know the answer," Lauren replied, quietly.

"What is going on, Lauren?" Vaughn repeated, his tone more forceful.

"I am going to stay with my parents for a few days."

Vaughn glanced pointedly at the heavily packed suitcases. "Only a few days?"

"Until I find a place of my own," she said, standing up.

"And were you going to discuss any of this with me?"

"We are discussing it now, Michael."

"No, we're not. You are telling me. Do I really not get a say?"

"No, you don't," Lauren said bluntly. "You have not earned a say."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Vaughn snapped.

"Do you realize that in the past few days you have not spoken a word to me? Not one. What sort of relationship is that, Michael?"

"That's not true…" Vaughn faltered. Was that really the case? Sure, he had been preoccupied, but to that extreme?

"You told me that things wouldn't change and I was not so naïve to believe that. however, I didn't think that things between us could change so much is so little time," Lauren bit her bottom lip. "I understand the situation is insanely complicated and I am not angry about your feeling for Sydney. I can understand your confliction. What _infuriates _me is the fact that you didn't have the guts to end this when you wanted to."

"Lauren, I—"

"No!" she yelled. "I gave you an out, Michael. I gave us an out. To end this before it got too hard, before it hurt even more…I have done nothing wrong in all of this. I do not deserve to be put through all of this."

"I know that," Vaughn whispered.

"And so I am leaving. I deserve to be happy, to be respected and to be loved," Lauren paused, picking up the suitcases. "And there is not a chance that I'll be getting that from you."

* * *

"Sydney," Jack came up beside her as she walked through the JTF. "I'll attempt the Rambaldi side of things when I get a chance. I upload what I find on our drop site by this afternoon." 

Sydney smiled at him. "Thanks…"

Jack cocked his head slightly. "Is something the matter."

"I'm sorry, dad."

"Sorry for what?"

"Sorry that I didn't tell you as soon as Weiss informed me. Sorry that I kept this from you."

"Sydney," Jack sounded serious. "Maybe there is a part of me that feels hurt that you turned to Weiss…intensely curious also. But, the decisions you make are your own and I have complete trust in whatever you decide to do with your life. So, all that matters now is finding out exactly what happened. I do not want to hear another apology. Understand?"

Sydney nodded. "Got it."

* * *

When Weiss approached his apartment that afternoon, the site of a dejected Vaughn seated on the front porch caused him to stop in his steps. 

"Vaughn?"

"Lauren left today."

"Oh right," Weiss pulled his keys out of his pocket. "I guess that you should come inside then."

With a short nod, Vaughn stood and followed his best friend into the house.

"Beer?" Weiss asked.

"Anything stringer?"

Weiss grinned. "I'll see what I can do." As he walked towards the kitchen, he paused briefly at his flashing answering machine and hit play.

"_Weiss_." As Sydney's voice filled the apartment Vaughn felt himself stiffen. "_If you're free you should head over tonight. I'm trying to read this book dad leant me but it's not very interesting- no plot whatsoever. I'm thinking of just crashing with a movie. Let me know so I can order a pizza._"

"Aha!" Weiss announced, holding up a bottle of Jack Daniels. Sydney's message was playing through his mind. So Jack had found nothing on Rambaldi today. Another brick wall. Pushing it aside, he turned to Vaughn. "Fancy some?"

"No." Vaughn's reply was blunt. "That is not what I _fancy_."

Weiss's brow furrowed. "Well…I might have some tequila- no, wait. Syd and I polished that off a few nights ago."

"So now the two of you are drinking buddies as well?"

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is what is going on between you and Sydney?"

"Me and Syd?" Weiss sounded utterly confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I realize that I have no right when it comes to Sydney, but you have been my friend for years. I thought that you would at least have the decency to inform me of what was going on."

"Ok, did Lauren give you a thump as she left? Because I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about."

"I am talking about you and Sydney! I am talking about my best friend with the woman who—"

"Whoa!" Weiss held up his hands. "There is nothing going on between me and Syd."

"Weiss, the two of you are always together. I've seen it. It's almost as if the two of you are existing in your own private little world."

"Vaughn, I swear to you. Sydney and I are just friend. In case you have forgotten, she just returned from the _dead_. I am just trying to be there for her."

"In more ways than one," Vaughn muttered.

"Don't," Weiss shot back forcefully. "Don't you dare go there. How could you even think—"

"What else am I supposed to think?" Vaughn yelled. "You run to her side the second she returned. Every time I call you, the two of you are doing something together. You get her an apartment practically next door to yours. I see you holding hands over breakfast and the…the way Sydney talked about you. It's like that you are the only one who can help her get through this. I just want to hear the truth."

"Friends, Vaughn. Friends!"

"Would you just stop and come out with it! Because you are not convincing—"

"I knew, Vaughn!" Weiss exploded. "I knew that Sydney was alive."

Vaughn froze. "What?"

Weiss inhaled deeply. "Sydney showed up here, about nine months after the fire. I knew that she wasn't dead. That is why we have been spending all this time together. We have been trying to get to the bottom of—"

"Stop," Vaughn held up a hand. "You knew? You knew and you said _nothing_?"

"Yes, but I—"

"Don't," Vaughn's tone was low but hard. "Don't even try to explain…and don't you ever speak to me again."

With that, he walked out of the apartment.

* * *

Finished for the day, Sydney grabbed her bag and stood up from her desk. Turning around, she took a step and walked smack into somebody. 

"Oh," they grunted, dropping a folder.

"Sorry!" Sydney exclaimed, bending down to pick it up. "Here you go."

"Thanks," the other agent, a woman smiled. "It was bound to happen. Things were going way too smoothly for my first day."

Sydney smiled back. "I can empathise entirely."

"Are you new too?"

"Not quite. I, uh, I just got back from extended leave," Sydney said, holding out a hand. "Sydney Bristow."

The agent accepted her hand. "Agent Hollingsworth." She let out a small laugh. "Sorry, it's still a novelty to introduce myself that way. My name is Hope."

"Nice to meet you, Hope…" Sydney trailed off, her mind whirring into gear. "Sorry to run, but I have to go. I'll see you around."

* * *

"Weiss!" Sydney stood banging on his front door. A second later it flew open and she burst in, not even looking at Weiss. 

"I just realized something. Hope…what we're looking for…what if it is a person?" Sydney looked to gauge Weiss's response but the moment she met his eyes she knew there was something more going on. "What is it?"

"It's Vaughn," Weiss replied. "He was here and…and I- I told him."


	8. On The Job

**seeley's sweetheart, monygp, Shniblet47 and agent belle: **Thank you for your feedback.

**

* * *

Chapter Eight:  
On The Job**

_"Weiss!" Sydney stood banging on his front door. A second later it flew open and she burst in, not even looking at Weiss._

"_I just realized something. Hope…what we're looking for…what if it is a person?" Sydney looked to gauge Weiss's response but the moment she met his eyes she knew there was something more going on. "What is it?"_

"_It's Vaughn," Weiss replied. "He was here and…and I- I told him."_

Sydney was very silent and very still for several seconds. "Told him what?" she asked, knowing perfectly well what the answer would be.

"That I knew you were alive," Weiss replied, unable to gauge how Sydney felt about this revelation.

"Oh my god," she sighed, walking across and collapsing on his couch. "Oh god."

"Syd, I am so sorry…but he was here and he was raving on about something going on between us and—"

"What?" Sydney sat up straight. "He said what?"

"He was convinced that there was something going on between the two of us."

"Where on Earth would he get that idea?"

"Well, we have been spending a lot of time together."

"Trying to find out what happened to me!"

"Yes, but Vaughn couldn't know that and he was _convinced_. The only way I could get him to see sense was to tell him the truth…well, I kind of yelled it out in the middle of our argument."

Sydney was chewing her bottom lip. "How did he take it?"

"He was actually really calm and contained—"

"He was?"

"—when he told me never to speak to him again," Weiss finished.

"Oh…"

"Syd, I am so sorry. I should never had said anything- not before speaking to you."

"Weiss, you do not have to apologise," Sydney replied. "Vaughn was going to have to fond out sooner or later. Granted being in the middle of an argument is not an ideal way to be informed, but it is out in the open. It will be better this way."

"You think?" Weiss asked dubiously, throwing himself on the couch next to Sydney.

"Now, now Weiss," Sydney wagged a finger. "What about all that positive thinking you've been pushing onto me? Why don't you start practicing what preach?"

"How about we just change the subject?" Weiss suggested. "What were you saying when you first got in?"

"It's about our search for hope," Sydney replied. "We have never considered that it may be a person."

"As in the name Hope…" Weiss's eyes widened slightly. "How could that not have occurred to us before? It seems so obvious."

"That's what I was thinking…though it is not entirely obvious. If Hope is a person, then she is one of billions. Our search is about to get even bigger, Weiss."

"With your dad helping us, we'll have this narrowed down in no time," Weiss said and then paused. "How was that for positive thinking?"

* * *

_Sydney sat, watching as Vaughn climbed out of the passenger side of the car. He was so close, and yet so far away._

"_What are you doing?"_

_Sydney turned her head and saw herself sitting in the passenger seat. "I'm watching Vaughn. I am here to see Vaughn. You, of all people, should know that."_

_She shook her head. "I am not talking about now. I am talking about fourteen months from now. What are you and dad and Weiss doing?"_

_Sydney frowned slightly. "We are trying to find out the truth."_

"_And did you ever consider that maybe the truth doesn't want to be found?"_

"_Of course it does."_

"_And did you ever consider that maybe you don't want to know the truth?"_

"_I _need_ to know the truth. I will go crazy if I don't find out…wait," Sydney paused. "You know, don't you? You know what happened to us. You have to tell me."_

"_No."_

"_Don't say that. You can end this all now. What is deal with hope? Is it an object? Is she a person? I have to know this."_

"_No, you _want _to know this and I am not telling you. The truth hurts, Syd. Have you ever heard that before?"_

_Sydney nodded. "Yes, but we have experienced hard truths before. I can handle whatever you tell me."_

_She shook her head. "That is what you might think, but believe me, you are better off not knowing…"_

Sydney opened her eyes, the early morning sun creating a warm glow over her bedroom. She was feeling as confused and unsettled as ever. What on Earth had that dream been about?

There was not a chance that she could be better off not knowing. How could being in the dark be the better option?

The dream meant nothing. The truth would make everything easier. It just had to.

* * *

Weiss drew in a deep breath. Perhaps he should have tried to do this a a neutral place. A place where Vaughn couldn't slam the door in his face. 

'_Grow a backbone man_,' he told himself. '_You are a federal agent. Knock on that damn door._'

And even thought seeing Vaughn after their last conversation scared him more than any bad guy, Weiss did just so.

Vaughn flung the door opene, his expresson dark. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to talk to you. Clear the air."

"And I told you that I did not want to hear you explain."

"And I am telling you that I am sorry."

Vaughn let out a harsh laugh. "Sorry? That is an empty apology if I've ever heard one."

"What do you want me to say, Vaughn? Do you want to hear that I had a blast having to keep it a secret? That I revelled in the fact that I was practically lying to you—"

"_Were_ lying."

"Vaughn, I—"

"When did you find out? How long have you known?" Vaughn demanded.

"Do you remember that night when you thought saw Sydney? The night you had your first date with Lauren?"

Vaughn nodded. He remembered the night he thought he was losing his marbles vividly.

"Well, you really did see her. And Sydney knew that you had. She came to me, asked me to convince you of her death."

"You knew for over a year? You breathed not one word for over a year?"

"Vaughn, Sydney asked me not to. I couldn't go back on my word. There is so much more to this story- so much that not even we know. Sydney needed the fact that she was alive to be unknown and so I helped her keep her secret."

"I don't want to hear it, Weiss. You kept from me the one thing that could make everything better. The one thing that I wanted so desperately to hear."

"And do you think that I really wanted to do that?"

"I've got no idea, Weiss and personally I have had enough. You've said your piece and now I think you should go."

"But—"

"Did you really think that you could fix it all? Because you can't. What you kept from me- that is unforgivable. Now go."

* * *

"Weiss, just give him some chance to cool down and see the light," Sydney said as the two of them walked into the Rotunda. "Vaughn will not stay mad forever. He'll come to understand your side of the story." 

"I don't think so," Weiss said. "He is pissed and irrational. And that is a lethal combination."

Sydney smiled. "Right now I am assuming that he suffering from a little bit of anger and a lot of jealousy."

"What on Earth has he got to be jealous about?"

"Weiss, come on. Vaughn and I, we were…we were close. And instead of him I disclose my biggest secret to his best friend. He is feeling stung. That is why he won't listen to you," Sydney paused. "But I tell you what, I am going to make him listen to me."

"Oh really?"

"Yes," Sydney said firmly. "Vaughn has the right to feel whatever he wants but that does not give him the right to take it out on you. You had no control over the situation, but I did. He will listen to me if he likes it or not."

"So when is this all going to take place?"

Sydney shrugged. "I haven't got that far…" she trailed off, catching site of Jack approaching them. "But let's talk about this another time."

"Sydney," Jack stopped in front of her. "I got your message."

"It's about Hope," she replied. "We need to consider the fact that it may be a person."

Jack paused for a second. "And that hasn't crossed our minds before now because…"

Sydney smiled. "I thought the exact same thing."

"We'll start as soon as possible," Jack said. "But there's something else you should know."

"What?" Sydney asked, finding it difficult not to sound alarmed.

"It's good news, actually," Jack said. "I just spoke with Dixon. He wants to task you on an op- you are officially back on the job."

* * *

**A/N: **Just a note to let you all know that there is only four more chapters in this fic... 


	9. Answers Are Near

**seeley's sweetheart, AMBERELEAH, Shniblet47, monygp & ILOVEALIAS4EVER: **Thank you all so much for your feedback.

**ILOVEALIAS4EVER: **I do have a few ideas up my sleeve and am hoping to be posting a new fic very soon.**  
**

* * *

**Chapter Nine:  
Answers Are Near**

_"Yes," Sydney said firmly. "Vaughn has the right to feel whatever he wants but that does not give him the right to take it out on you. You had no control over the situation, but I did. He will listen to me if he likes it or not."_

_"So when is this all going to take place?"_

_Sydney shrugged. "I haven't got that far…" she trailed off, catching site of Jack approaching them. "But let's talk about this another time."_

_"Sydney," Jack stopped in front of her. "I got your message."_

_"It's about Hope," she replied. "We need to consider the fact that it may be a person."_

_Jack paused for a second. "And that hasn't crossed our minds before now because…"_

_Sydney smiled. "I thought the exact same thing."_

_"We'll start as soon as possible," Jack said. "But there's something else you should know."_

_"What?" Sydney asked, finding it difficult not to sound alarmed._

_"It's good news, actually," Jack said. "I just spoke with Dixon. He wants to task you on an op- you are officially back on the job."

* * *

_"Have you heard anything of the Covenant since your return?" Dixon asked Sydney, the two of them sitting in his office.

"I've heard that name in passing," she replied. "But nothing concrete. Who are they?"

"A relatively new threat. They've only become active, as far as we know, during the past two years. But they are dangerous. Extremely anonymous and underhanded. We've been doing all we can to identify players within the organisation."

"And that's what you need me to do?" Sydney asked. "Identify a possible player?"

"Not exactly," Dixon said, handing over a folder. "We've already identified your target. His name is Simon Walker."

Sydney opened the folder, her eyes flicking over the mission layout and finally landing on the image of one Simon Walker.

She looked up at Dixon. "This guy is Covenant?"

"He's a freelancer. The point man on the Damascus armory job in 99...and the 2002 break-in at Vector. He is a cold-blooded contract guy, one who has completed several jobs for the Covenant in the past. Intel tells us that he is up for another one. That is where you come in."

"What do I need to do?"

"Walker is in Seville, Spain at the moment. Sources tell us that he'll frequent the Salón Bar while there- apparently it's a favourite of his. All you need to do is get close enough to spike his drink with a non-lethal dose of radioactive isotope. We can then track him and hopefully he will lead to something Covenant related."

Sydney scanned over the contents of the folder, her eyes always returning to Walker's image. "Sounds simple enough," she commented.

"Yes, well," a small smile crossed Dixon's face. "It was my intention to ease you back into things."

"While your concern is appreciated, you should know that I am more than ready to get back into the field."

Dixon's smile widened. "Good to hear, Syd. Good to hear."

* * *

At the sound of a soft sigh, Jack looked up from the glowing screen in front of him and towards Sydney. The two of them were seated in the cramped back of a van, fitted out with all necessary surveillance equipment, located outside the Salón Bar. 

"Is everything ok?"

Sydney nodded, as she adjusted her blonde cropped wig. "Yeah. I can't wait to get back into it...it's just that I can't help but feel-"

"That it is a distraction from your investigation?"

"Exactly."

"Sydney, you need to do this. You have been living and breathing those two years since your return. You need a break."

"But-"

"Weiss is taking care of things back home," Jack interjected. "Right now, you just need to focus on Walker." He paused., handing over a comm for her ear. "You should get in there."

* * *

Sydney spotted Walker the second she entered Salón. Seated at the bar there was an aura of arrogance surrounding him. That didn't surprise Sydney at all. She had spent the flight to Spain going over his wrap sheet. Despite the unsavoury nature of his line of work, Walker was the best at what he did and his services did not come cheap. 

"Got him," she murmured into her comms as she navigated her way towards the bar. "Moving in now."

"Got you on the security feed," came Jack's reply.

Sydney walked right up to the stool beside Walker and sat down. After waving down the bar tender and ordering a Vodka Sunrise, she turned to her right, prepared to make the first move. To her utter surprise, Walker was staring at her with recognition.

"Sydney?"

If Sydney were asked, in the future, to describe just how professional she was at her job, she would have chosen this exact moment. After hearing Walker refer to her by name, all she did was smile as she tucked a strand of her wig behind her ear.

"Hello Simon."

"Tread carefully here, Sydney," Jack's voice came across the comms.

Simon was still staring at her. "My god...how long has it been?"

"Long enough," Sydney replied.

"What on Earth have you been up to?"

"Just keeping busy...a few odd jobs here and there," Sydney said, as her drink was placed in front of her.

Simon chuckled. "Remember the odd jobs they had us doing?"

"How could I forget?" Only Sydney could understand the irony in her voice.

Reaching across, Simon fingered a strand of her wig. "You changed your hair."

Sydney shrugged. "It was time for a change."

"Not the only change, hey?" Simon said. "I heard that you cut ties with the Covenant. I was ever so disappointed when I realized I wouldn't be working with you on my next job...why'd you do it?"

Sydney paused, running a finger along the rim of her glass. "We no longer had a use for one another."

"Have anything to do with Hope?" Simon asked, raising his glass to his lips.

Sydney struggled to keep her expression impartial. "She was part of it."

"I'm sure that she was."

"Keep him talking, Sydney," came Jack's voice.

"Well, Hope is special..." Sydney tested out.

"Right," Simona raised an eyebrow. "Special."

"It's been a long time since we've made contact."

Simon took a long mouthful and then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I imagine so. Making...contact with her is basically impossible. Ever since she went underground."

"How-" Sydney was cut off when the mobile sitting in front of Simon started to buzz.

Turning away from Sydney, he picked it up. "Walker..."

With Simon distracted, Sydney seized the chance, adding the isotope to his drink. With her mission completed, she could now focus on getting all the information she could out of him.

"Right...anything else...I'll be right there." Hanging up the phone, he looked at Sydney. "I have to go."

Sydney felt a moment of panic. "Wait, we've barely even had a chance to talk."

"Probably not the best idea for us to be seen together, babe," Simon said, standing up. "I don't want to go upsetting the employer's who pay so very handsomely. Get it?"

Sydney nodded, when all she wanted to do was scream. She watched as Simon took a second to drain his drink, gave her a small wave and then walked off. How was it that answers could be dangled right in front of her, only to be cruelly snatched away?

* * *

"We need to make contact with Walker again," Sydney said to Jack they drove towards the airport. "I have to speak with him." 

"Do you really think that wise?" Jack questioned. "You know nothing of the past two years. If Walker picked up on something not being right..."

"I can't just do nothing!"

"Then I suggest that you focus on the three huge pieces of information that Walker provided you with. It was the Covenant who abducted you, you worked with Walker and Hope is most definitely a person. Think of the possibilities that we have to investigate now."

After all the setbacks, Sydney was finding it difficult to think positively. "And what if that all leads to nothing- again?"

"Well," Jack paused. "If it gets to that, then we go to Walker."

* * *

"This is Walker." 

"What did you get?"

"She has absolutely no idea- even about Hope."

"No recollection at all?"

"None whatsoever. You don't have to worry about her passing on any information."

"Good to hear. The money is being transferred to your account. We look forward to working with you again, Mr Walker."

* * *

When Vaughn saw Sydney standing on his front step he had no idea how to react. He was sure that Weiss had told her about the argument and that it was the reason for this visit. 

"Can I come in?" she asked, though it was more of a statement than a question.

Vaughn nodded, stepping aside to allow her to enter. "I take it you have been talking to Weiss."

Sydney faced him, eyebrows arched. "Of course I have. After all, we're never apart, are we?"

Vaughn winced. "Ok, I deserved that."

Sydney's expression softened. "You should not be angry at him, Vaughn. He was forced into that position by _me_."

"I know," Vaughn said, quietly. "It just came out of the blue and it hurt so much-"

"Weiss was keeping _my _secret, Vaughn. He did not, for one second, do any of this to hurt you."

Vaughn shook his head. "I'm not talking about Weiss."

"Then what are you talking about?"

"That you couldn't come to me," Vaughn said. "That for some reason you couldn't trust me to protect you."

"Vaughn," Sydney's tone was firm. "I trust you with my life. But whatever this is about, it is not about trust."

"Then what is it?"

Sydney hesitated. "I wanted to have answers for you. To explain my actions. But I don't. All I have is a two year blank and a person called Hope. But what I do know- and I know this because I know who _I_ am- is why I didn't tell you...Not because I thought you couldn't protect me. It was because I was trying to protect you." She reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. "What you, what we both need to focus on is not that I didn't come to you. It's the _why_ I didn't that is important. When I get that reason why, everything will make sense."

"Are you and Weiss close to finding that reason?" Vaughn asked.

Sydney shrugged. "I have no idea. We keep hitting dead ends and then all of a sudden new information presents itself," she said, thinking of Simon Walker. "I just have to keep telling myself that the answers are near."

* * *

**A/N: **Only three more chapters to go... 


	10. But Not Anymore

**seeley's sweetheart, mony-hp, bendypinkone & Shniblet47: **Thank you all for your feedback.

**mony-hp: **The meeting between Syd and Simon was set up for the Covenant to determine whether she had any memory of the past two years.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Ten:  
But Not Anymore**

_"Vaughn," Sydney's tone was firm. "I trust you with my life. But whatever this is about, it is not about trust."_

_"Then what is it?"_

_Sydney hesitated. "I wanted to have answers for you. To explain my actions. But I don't. All I have is a two year blank and a person called Hope. But what I do know- and I know this because I know who __I__ am- is why I didn't tell you...Not because I thought you couldn't protect me. It was because I was trying to protect you." She reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. "What you, what we both need to focus on is not that I didn't come to you. It's the __why__ I didn't that is important. When I get that reason why, everything will make sense."_

_"Are you and Weiss close to finding that reason?" Vaughn asked._

_Sydney shrugged. "I have no idea. We keep hitting dead ends and then all of a sudden new information presents itself," she said, thinking of Simon Walker. "I just have to keep telling myself that the answers are near."_

* * *

Weiss entered the coffee place somewhat warily. Vaughn's message had been brief and Weiss wasn't entirely sure why he wanted to see him. He was thankful about meeting in a public place, though. It was a definite security blanket. It meant that whatever conversation was to take place would have to be at a socially acceptable level. With no fists. 

Weiss spotted Vaughn straightaway, seated at one of the back tables, a steaming mug of coffee already in front of him. Taking a deep breath, Weiss approached.

"Hey."

Vaughn looked up. "Hey."

Dropping into his seat, Weiss looked around the café for a few seconds. "Sooo…"

Vaughn cleared his throat. "I owe you an apology."

Weiss gave a short nod. "Yeah, you do."

Vaughn couldn't help but smile at his friend's bluntness. "I had no right to attack you the way I did. You were just helping a friend and I acted like a jerk."

"Yeah, just a bit," Weiss agreed.

"And I was being ridiculous about the whole you and Syd thing…" Vaughn trailed off.

"Well, you weren't the only one," Weiss said.

"Huh?"

"We've been getting looks around the Rotunda," Weiss said. "It wasn't until you blew your lid that I figured out what might have been going around."

"Yeah, well…I wasn't only talking about my suspicions," Vaughn started. "I was talking about my reaction."

Weiss's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"How I reacted at the idea of you and Sydney. I did move on…and if something were to happen, I should just accept it. You…you would make her happy."

Weiss stared incredulously at Vaughn for several seconds before bursting into loud laughter. "Are you crazy?"

"But…" Vaughn looked slightly bewildered.

"First of all, me and Syd? That would be like hooking up with my sister. I love her to bits but so, so, _so_ not in that way." Weiss paused, wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes. "And secondly, there's only one person out there for her. Like there is only one person out there for you."

Something in Vaughn's mind clicked. "That's why you did a complete 180 about Lauren. You found out that Sydney was alive."

Weiss nodded. "That killed me. To think that Syd could return at any moment to find you with somebody else."

"Does she hate me? She said that she was ok, but I don't know…"

"The complete opposite," Weiss reassured him. "Patience, Vaughn and your time will come again."

* * *

"Ok," Jack sat down on an arm chair in Sydney's living room and then looked up at her and Weiss. "I got all that I could on Simon Walker." 

"Anything that could be linked to me?" Sydney asked.

"I haven't gone over it yet," Jack replied, opening his briefcase and removing the paper work. "This is what we need to start with- details of jobs that Walker is suspected of completing on behalf of the Covenant."

"So if Sydney was working with Walker for a time, then there should be something in there," Weiss said.

Jack nodded. "We are going through these until something jumps out."

"Hang on," Sydney said. "Are we all forgetting the very small fact that I remember nothing of the past two years? How is something supposed to jump out if all I have is a big, blank space?"

"Sydney, sometimes all the mind needs is the smallest trigger to bring back a memory. A scent, a name, a particular song," Jack replied. "What we are hoping to find is your trigger."

"Ok then," Sydney conceded. "Let's get started."

"Ok, so we have got three jobs here," Jack started. "There was a break in at a medical facility in Helsinki, a robbery of an art gallery in Washington and then—"

"Stop," Sydney sat up straighter. "Did you say a gallery in Washington?"

Jack nodded. "Yes- the date was a little over fourteen months ago."

"That's around the time that you came back," Weiss said. "Do you think that could be why you were back in the States?"

"I have no idea," Sydney replied. "But what I do know is that I have a safety deposit box in Washington."

"You remember that?" Jack pressed.

"Yes- because I had it before I disappeared," Sydney stood up, her eyes shining with excitement. "It's at the Hotel Principe. Box 147. I have no idea if there is even anything in there, but…"

"I'll organize flights for as soon as possible," Jack said, pulling out his phone. "Weiss, can you accompany Sydney?"

"Of course," Weiss replied, glancing at Sydney. Both their eyes were filled with astonishment, finding it hard to believe that they just might find themselves an answer.

* * *

It didn't take long for Sydney to doze off on the plane. The idea that this search for answers was actually going somewhere had enabled her to really relax. They had been in the air all of ten minutes and she was already in a deep sleep. 

Weiss tried to keep himself occupied with a book, but was failing miserably. How was he supposed to concentrate at a time like this?

After about 45 minutes of reading the same two pages over, Weiss heard Sydney stir. Grateful for the distraction, he looked up at her to find her staring into space, with a slightly odd expression on her face.

Weiss couldn't help but laugh. "What is up with you? You looked like you've walked into tour kitchen and found that your fridge is missing."

"Oh ha ha…I just had a really weird dream."

"Do you need to get your journal out?"

Sydney shook her head. "No, I don't think so…I dreamt that I was Hermione."

Weiss cocked his head to one side. "From _Harry Potter_? So…that would make Vaughn Ron and me the boy wonder himself! Hmm…you know, Sark would make a brilliant Malfoy and—"

"No," Sydney cut him off with a laugh. "Hermione from _The Winter's Tale_…you know, Shakespeare."

"Unfortunately, I never read that one. My high school forced _Romeo and Juliet _down our throats. What's the deal with Hermione?"

"Well, here's the extremely shortened version. She was married and nine months pregnant to the king of Sicilia. He became convinced that she had been having an affair with his best friend, and publicly accuses her of infidelity, saying that the baby was illegitimate. She gets thrown into prison and gives birth to a baby girl while there. Her husband, Leontes, rejects the child and orders one of his men to abandon her. After the baby is taken, an Oracle informs all that Hermione is innocent. But before anything can be rectifies, news comes that Leontes son has also died. Hermione faints and is carried away. Her friend later reports that she is dead," Sydney paused, taking a breath. "You got that?"

Weiss was nodding. "Yeah."

"Hermione's daughter, Perdita, ends up being raised by a Shepard. How she survived is a whole another story. Anyway, Perdita eventually ends up back in Sicilia and Leontes realizes that she is his daughter. A statue of Hermione is revealed, which then comes to life. Hermione- restored to life, reunited with her husband and child."

"Sounds like a pretty cool story," Weiss said.

"It is," Sydney replied. "I love it; it's one of my favourites."

"Do you think that it means anything?"

Sydney was shaking her head. "Apart from the whole coming back from the dead thing, Hermione and I have absolutely nothing in common."

* * *

Sydney signed the form in front of her and handed it back to the clerk behind the desk. 

"Thank you, Ms. Bristow," he said. "If you will just follow me, I'll take you directly there."

Sydney and Weiss followed in silence, the air feeling as if it were crackling with anticipation. They were close. They just had to be.

Coming to a door at the end of the hallway, the clerk swiped a security card through the slot by the handle. Turning to Sydney, he handed her a key.

"I'll give you some privacy. Press the intercom by the door when you are ready to leave and I will send someone to escort you out."

Sydney nodded, took the key and then entered the room. Walking directly to box 147, she placed the key in the lock and then froze.

"Syd," Weiss stepped up beside her. "What is it?"

"What if there's nothing in there?" she whispered. "I don't think that I could handle that."

"You can handle whatever is thrown at you," Weiss said, his tone dead serious. "So open that box."

Drawing in a deep breath, Sydney turned the key and opened the small metal door. Inside there was only a single white envelope.

Curiously she pulled it out. Taking a look at Weiss's encouraging expression, she slid a finger nail through the flap, ripping it open. Inside, she felt what she thought to be a photograph.

But when she removed it from the envelope, she saw that it was not exactly a photograph. And as Sydney stared at what she was holding, she felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. A searing ache ripped through her head, and she had to put a hand on the wall to stop herself from collapsing.

When Weiss saw the item, his jaw dropped. "Sydney?"

"Oh my god," she murmured, the pain in her head getting worse.

"Is that…were you…"

Sydney looked up at him. "I remember…oh my god…I remember."

* * *

Vaughn was ripped from his slumber by a loud knocking on his front door. Stumbling out of bed, he threw on a t-shirt before he made his way to the front entrance, his limbs awkward with lethargy. 

All ready to rip shreds through whoever felt the need to stop by at this hour, he stopped short when he saw that it was Sydney standing on his front porch.

She looked at him, her face stained with tears. "Vaughn." He had never heard her sound so vulnerable.

"Sydney," he stepped forward, guiding her into the house. "What is it?"

"I know," she whispered. "I know who Hope is."

"Who is she?"

She drew in a shaky breath. "Our daughter." With that she handed him the sonogram image she had recovered from the security box.

Vaughn felt time stop around him and was acutely aware of the sound of his thumping heart, as his eyes stared at the black and white image. "Our…we have a daughter?"

"We did," Sydney replied as tears spilled over her cheeks. "But not anymore."

* * *

**A/N: **Only two more chapters to go... 


	11. To See Hope

**seeley's sweetheart, jellybelly89, Irina89, mony-hp, islandbluebird, Shniblet47 & Valoriahn: **Thank you for your feedback.

**islandbluebird: **You should definitely read all of _The Winter's Tale_. It's fantastic (plus it has one of the funniest stage directions in Shakespeare- _Exit, pursued by a bear_)

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Eleven:  
To See Hope**

_Curiously she pulled it out. Taking a look at Weiss's encouraging expression, she slid a finger nail through the flap, ripping it open. Inside, she felt what she thought to be a photograph._

_But when she removed it from the envelope, she saw that it was not exactly a photograph. And as Sydney stared at what she was holding, she felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. A searing ache ripped through her head, and she had to put a hand on the wall to stop herself from collapsing._

_When Weiss saw the item, his jaw dropped. "Sydney?"_

"_Oh my god," she murmured, the pain in her head getting worse._

"_Is that…were you…"_

_Sydney looked up at him. "I remember…oh my god…I remember."_

_**xxxxx**_

_Vaughn was ripped from his slumber by a loud knocking on his front door. Stumbling out of bed, he threw on a t-shirt before he made his way to the front entrance, his limbs awkward with lethargy._

_All ready to rip shreds through whoever felt the need to stop by at this hour, he stopped short when he saw that it was Sydney standing on his front porch._

_She looked at him, her face stained with tears. "Vaughn." He had never heard her sound so vulnerable._

"_Sydney," he stepped forward, guiding her into the house. "What is it?"_

"_I know," she whispered. "I know who Hope is."_

"_Who is she?"_

_She drew in a shaky breath. "Our daughter." With that she handed him the sonogram image she had recovered from the security box._

_Vaughn felt time stop around him and was acutely aware of the sound of his thumping heart, as his eyes stared at the black and white image. "Our…we have a daughter?"_

"_We did," Sydney replied as tears spilled over her cheeks. "But not anymore."_

Stunned and confused, Vaughn wrapped an arm around Sydney's shoulder and led her to the couch, before he started to ask any more questions.

"What do you mean by not anymore? What happened?"

"I…" Sydney stopped as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to gain some composure. "Not yet…I have to start from the beginning. It…it will explain everything."

Vaughn nodded, as he gently brushed the tears from her cheeks. "When you're ready, I'm listening."

* * *

**TWO YEARS EARLIER**

_"We may have problem with Bristow's processing."_

"_How do you mean?"_

"_Project Christmas."_

"_What about it?"_

"_Bristow- she was a test subject. We have no chance of altering her mindset."_

"_Then remove her memory of this time and send her back. We can retieve her again when we have the technology to do as we please."_

"_I think that you will find that a premature decision."_

"_And why is that?"_

"_We got the results of her physical. There was…something interesting."_

"_Interesting in what way?"_

"_She is pregnant."_

_**xxxxx**_

_Sydney had lost track of how long she had been in the blackened cell. It could have been hours, it could have been days- she had no idea._

_The walls let no sound in and so when the door was flung open, flooding the cell with light, Sydney started in surprise._

"_Well, well, well, if it isn't Pigtails."_

_Her eyes couldn't focus as they were still adjusting to the bright light, but Sydney would have recognized that voice anywhere._

"_Cole?"_

"_The one and only," McKenas replied, making his way over to the metal bench attached to the wall and sat down. "I'm here to give you your orientation."_

"_Orientation to what?" Sydney asked, finally able to make out his features._

"_Our wonderful organization," he said, his arms widespread. "We like to give all our recruitments a big welcoming spiel. Now, we may have a not so happy history—"_

"_How the hell did you get out of CIA custody?" Sydney interrupted._

"_Please do not cut in, Pigtails. If you are patient I will tell you that very interesting story some other day. Now," he paused. "First thing's first- welcome."_

_Sydney stared back at him. "Welcome to what?"_

"_The Covenant's payroll. I can tell you, I am really looking forward to having you work for us, Pigtails."_

_Unable to help it, Sydney let out a loud laugh. "Yeah right. As if I would work for you."_

_McKenas looked directly at her for several seconds, his eyes chilling her to the bone. "Let me guess- there is nothing in the world that could get you to work for us?"_

"_Glad to see that we are on the same page here."_

"_But…whoops!" McKenas let out loudly, smacking his forehead dramatically. "Silly me. I forgot to offer you my congratulations."_

"_Congratulations for what?" Sydney asked, somehow managing to keep her poker face on._

"_For the baby," McKenas replied, with a big smile on his face, as if they were sharing a secret. "You must be so excited about becoming a mummy. Just imagine, if it's a girl, you could put little pigtails in her hair."_

_Sydney's hand went unconsciously to her abdomen. She wasn't…could she be? Or was this just some kind of sick ploy._

"_I don't believe you."_

"_Give it a few months and then try and deny it," McKenas said. "Now, about this whole you working for us thing—"_

"_I told you no."_

_McKenas's expression suddenly hardened as he stood and made his way towards Sydney. "You are going to do exactly as we tell you, Pigtails," he said, leaning in close. "Because if you don't we will kill that baby's grandfather. We will murder that baby's father. And then, without hesitation we will kill that baby. _Your _baby, Pigtails."_

_Sydney felt hot with anger. "Don't you—"_

"_That poor innocent and defenseless baby is relying on you to look after it. And if you do as we say, we will ensure that the two of you live a long, healthy and safe life…together." He took a step back. "Now, have I made myself clear?"_

_**xxxxx**_

**SEVENTEEN MONTHS EARLIER**

_Sydney had started to avoid her reflection at all cost. Catching sight of her enormous stomach brought on too many emotions. So many that it usually resulted in her having to sit down._

_How was it that she was going through this alone? One of life's most amazing experiences and Vaughn was not by her side. He had no idea that the two of them were about to become parents._

_It had Sydney utterly in awe that she had never met this child and still she felt so much love. But along with that love came a terrifying fear._

_When this baby arrived, Sydney would then be forced in completely whatever it was that the Covenant wanted done. And she knew that she could look after herself- she knew that she could have gotten herself out of this situation. But how could she even contemplate escape if it meant possible harm to her child?_

_**xxxxx**_

_Staring down at the tiny bundle in her arms, Sydney's heart was full of ache. A daughter. A beautiful baby girl and not a single person she cared about to share the experience with her._

_Her mind was full of contradictions. Which was the worse option? Attempting escape and risking harm? Or condemning her daughter to live life as a prisoner?_

"_I will get us out," she whispered, brushing her lips against her daughter's forehead. "We just have to stay positive and keep hope that one day…" Sydney trailed off, sitting up a little straighter. "Hope," she murmured, running a finger down her velvet cheek. "Hope Bristow Vaughn…because you are the only one who is going to give me any of that."_

_**xxxxx**_

**FOURTEEN MONTHS EARLIER**

"_Well," Simon turned to Sydney and offered her his hand. "I must say, it has been a pleasure to work with you. Your reputation really does you no justice."_

_Sydney ignored his statement and his hand. "You need to go- we shouldn't be seen together."_

"_You're right…and I suppose that you are eager to get home and see the little one. When is your flight?"_

"_When it takes off," Sydney said, shouldering her bag. "Good- bye, Simon."_

"_No, not good bye," he called back. "Because if I have any say in the matter, we are certainly going to be working together again."_

_**xxxxx**_

_Sydney looked at the black and white image. She wasn't entirely sure why she felt the need to put Hope's sonogram in the safety deposit box. Perhaps it was as simple as wanting to have something separated from the Covenant. To be there waiting when she finally got herself and her daughter away and safe._

_With thought of Hope running through her mind, Sydney placed the sonogram into the box and locked it._

_Her flight to Los Angeles would be leaving shortly._

_**xxxxx**_

_Sydney pulled the car to a stop outside of Weiss's place. She could see him and Vaughn talking fervently in the doorway. She hoped desperately that this would work._

_Vaughn caught sight of her- the second time this night. She saw him grab Weiss._

_About to drive away, Sydney stopped for a second. "We have a daughter," she whispered, almost surprising herself. "A baby, and she is so beautiful. I…you will meet her one day, Vaughn. I promise."_

_And with that she hit the accelerator and sped off._

_**xxxxx**_

**FIVE MONTHS EARILER**

_Sydney tightened her embrace around Hope. "Happy Birthday, sweetheart," she whispered, planting a kiss on the top of her feathery soft hair._

_Her daughter was a year old and the only person there to celebrate that was her mother. A tight fist of anger balled up in her stomach. Hope should have been surrounded by family and love- the centre of everybody's attention. That was a prerogative of any child on their birthday._

_Hope drew Sydney's attention away from those thoughts when, with a delighted laugh, she smashed her fist into the pink iced cupcake in front of her. As Hope looked up at her mother, her green eyes dancing, Sydney found herself joining in with her daughter's laughter._

_But as she did so, she made a vow. She couldn't do this to Hope anymore. The Covenant could do whatever they wanted to her, but not to her daughter. If she could get Hope away, safe with Vaughn, then she would stay and follow their damn orders. The same orders she had been following with hatred since Hope's birth._

_The idea of continuing to work for these people made her feel sick, but she knew that if it gave her daughter a chance at a real life, then she had no other choice._

_**xxxxx**_

**ONE MONTH EARLIER**

_Sydney zipped her bag with resolve. The Covenant were sending her back to the States for another mission. And that meant that she could make contact with Weiss once again. At this point he was the only one who could possibly help her get Hope out of the Covenant's clutches._

_As she did every time that the Covenant sent her on a trip, Sydney stopped by Hope's room for another good-bye. No matter how many times Sydney did that, it still ripped her heart out. Of everything that she had been through in her life, leaving her daughter behind was the hardest thing that she ever had to do._

"_Where is my little _princesse_?" Sydney let out as she walked into the room. Usually, at the sound of her mother's voice, Hope would stand up in her cot and demand "Up!" But today there was no response._

"_Hope?" Sydney stepped up to the cot. "Are you still asleep, sweetie…?"_

_She stopped short at the sight of her daughter. Hope's face was flushed with fever and her breathing was laboured. Instinctively, she reached down to pick her up, and was shocked at just how hot Hope was._

"_Mummy's here," Sydney murmured, trying to rouse her daughter. It failed, and when she noticed a rash that had spread on the inner of Hope's leg, she knew that something was terribly wrong._

"_Help!" she yelled, turning to the camera in the upper corner of the room, from which she knew they were watching the two of them, "I need some help, now!"_

_**xxxxx**_

_Sydney leapt up as the woman entered the hospital waiting room. "Where the hell is my daughter?" she demanded._

"_Sydney," the nameless woman replied calmly. "Sit down."_

"_Like hell I will," Sydney spat. "You have had me locked in here all day while your doctors have had free reign over my daughter. I want to see her now."_

"_Sydney, please will you sit down."_

"_Listen," Sydney's eyes bore down on the woman in the manner of her father. "You know perfectly well what I am capable of. And because of my daughter I have been more than accommodating to your bosses. So now is the time that you damn well do something for me. Let me see my daughter or I will make you let me see my daughter."_

"_Sydney," the woman replied. "I am very sorry to be telling you this, but Hope died."_

_Sydney felt the Earth shift under her feet as a loud ringing started in her ears. "No." She shook her head forcefully. "You are lying. This is a trick. A sick trick to try and take my daughter."_

"_Sydney, Hope was suffering from a form of meningococcal meningitis," the woman explained calmly. "We did all that we could, but it was too late. We were unable to save your daughter."_

"_No," Sydney whispered. "This isn't true."_

"_I am afraid that it is, Sydney. Now you were right about accommodating our bosses, so is there anything that you need?"_

_Sydney looked up at her. "I want to say good-bye. I need to…take me to see Hope."_

* * *

**A/N: **Only one more chapter to go... 


	12. In Your Hands

**seeley's sweetheart, islandbluebird, mony-hp, Shniblet47 & STACE: **Thank you all so much for your feedback.

**A/N: **I want to apologise for the delay with me updating this chapter. I wasn't deliberately being cruel in making you wait for the final installment, I just came across a slight writer's block when putting on the finishing touches. So, here it is. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter Twelve:  
In Your Hands**

"_Sydney," the woman replied. "I am very sorry to be telling you this, but Hope died."_

_Sydney felt the Earth shift under her feet as a loud ringing started in her ears. "No." She shook her head forcefully. "You are lying. This is a trick. A sick trick to try and take my daughter."_

"_Sydney, Hope was suffering from a form of meningococcal meningitis," the woman explained calmly. "We did all that we could, but it was too late. We were unable to save your daughter."_

"_No," Sydney whispered. "This isn't true."_

"_I am afraid that it is, Sydney. Now you were right about accommodating our bosses, so is there anything that you need?"_

_Sydney__ looked up at her. "I want to say good-bye. I need to…take me to see Hope."_

* * *

Sydney was surprisingly calmer when she came to the end of her story. "She died, Vaughn. Just like that. I put her to bed one night and…" 

"I…" Vaughn cleared his throat. "I am so sorry that I wasn't there. I am so sorry that you had to go though that alone."

Sydney looked directly at him, as her calm exterior began to break. "I am sorry that I couldn't keep her safe," she said, her throat constricting. "All I wanted was for you to lay eyes on your daughter. But," she paused, her eyes stinging. "I couldn't protect her. I robbed you of any chance you may have had of meeting your child."

"No," Vaughn shook his head. "Don't you dare do this to yourself. This was just a freak thing- there was no way that you could prevent this from happening."

"I know that," Sydney managed to get out. "But I need…I have to blame somebody."

"Then why don't you blame those who kept you and Hope away from those who love you? Who kept us apart during that precious little time that we could have had together."

As Sydney broke down completely in his arms, Vaughn too was struggling to keep his composure, struggling to come to terms with the daughter he had never gotten to meet.

* * *

Jack stared at Weiss, dumbstruck. If it hadn't been for the somber nature of the news he had just revealed, Weiss would have been reveling in the fact that he had just rendered Jack Bristow speechless. 

"And, uh, I took her straight to Vaughn's," he finished up. "She asked me to tell you. Said that she didn't think she could break the news to another person."

"I can't believe this," Jack finally murmured. "Hope was Sydney's baby?"

Weiss nodded. "I am kind of spinning out about that, too."

"Did she tell you how Hope died?"

"No, I just got the basics. She was anxious to get to Vaughn."

Jack looked up at Weiss, his expression characteristically passive, but his eyes unbearably sad. "I guess the whole 'for the sake of Hope' speech suddenly makes sense."

* * *

"The day…" Sydney stopped. "The Covenant were sending me to the States for another op. I was going to speak with Weiss. To get his help in bringing Hope home. I was…I was so close to getting her out of there." 

Vaughn ran a hand over her head, brushing hair away from her face. "You would have, Syd. I know that you would have."

Sydney looked up at him. "I guess we both know why I couldn't come to you…to the Covenant, there was no personal link between Weiss and me. If they ever discovered anything, he was just another employee of the CIA. I would have been reprimanded, but they had no way of knowing that he was a friend. By going to him, I was trying to keep her safe…and you…and dad…"

Vaughn nodded. "I feel disgusted that I even thought to question your intentions."

A small smile formed on Sydney's face. "She looked so much like you…Hope."

Vaughn's eyes widened slightly. "She did?"

Sydney nodded. "She had my dark hair, but your face, and your chin- it was the sweetest little dimple. And she had your eyes. Sometimes, when I looked at her, I could believe that it was you staring back. The resemblance was uncanny."

"Tell me more about her," Vaughn said. "Unless you don't, or can't, I—"

"No," Sydney cut in. "I want to…she used to pull your serious face all—"

"My serious face?"

"Yeah, the 'oh my god, the bad guys are out there, what the hell are we going to do?' face."

"Hope pulled that sort of face?"

"Well, it was along those kind of lines," Sydney replied. "Her smile was the most amazing thing I have ever I've ever seen. No matter what those bastards had me doing, how awful they made me feel, that smile made up for it. Gave me a reason to go on." She paused, as more and more memories of her daughter came flooding in. "She hated lullabies and nursery rhymes. I could not, in my life, her to fall asleep to those. But if I put on some Rolling Stones or Queen she would be asleep in minutes."

"Obviously, she had taste," Vaughn said, the sound of the past tense making his stomach roll.

Sydney noticed the change in him and clasped one of his hands. She understood entirely. "Her first word was da-da, Vaughn."

"What?" he exclaimed with surprise. "But how?"

"I spoke to her about you everyday. Told her everybody about you that I knew. I wanted Hope to know who her father was, so that when the two of you finally…I guess she just must have heard the word 'dad' mentioned so many times that it came naturally to her."

"I wish…I wish that I could have heard that."

Sydney looked up at him, her eyes clouded. "So do I, Vaughn."

* * *

A couple of hours later, Sydney eventually fell asleep on Vaughn's couch, curled up in a little ball. Believing that the last thing she needed was to spend an uncomfortable night on the couch, Vaughn gently scooped Sydney into his arms and carried her down the hall, to his bedroom. 

As he pulled his doona over her still sleeping form, Vaughn suddenly found himself imagining Sydney putting Hope to bed. He ached at the lost possibility of seeing that.

He was about to exit the room and head back to the couch when Sydney's voice stopped him.

"Vaughn?"

He turned. "Yes?"

"Would…would it have been something that you wanted?"

Vaughn frowned, taking a step forward. "Are you asking—"

"I mean, we hadn't been together all that long and a child is such a huge step. Do you think that it would have changed us? Would be have embraced the news or would it have been something that we needed to consider?" she paused, almost unsure of herself. "Was a baby something that you would have wanted?"

Vaughn took another step forward. "Syd, do you remember where we were planning to go that night? When I dropped you off at your apartment?"

Sydney nodded. "Santa Barbara."

"I was planning to propose that weekend, Sydney."

She could only stare at him. "What?"

"Yes, I realize that it would be considered early in the relationship. But what we had had been building up long before we took that step. And I knew, without a doubt that I wanted to have you a part of my life for as long as I existed. I can't say that I wouldn't have been shocked. And I can't say that I wouldn't have been terrified. But right now, I am devastated, because a child with you was something that I definitely wanted. Something that was taken from me."

Sydney was chewing her bottom lip, digesting all that Vaughn had just said to her. For some reason, she found herself unable to respond.

Sensing this, Vaughn took a step back towards the door. "Sweet dreams, Syd," he whispered softly.

"Wait," she let out. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"I can't…I don't want to be alone," Sydney said, unable to meet his eyes.

Without another word, Vaughn made his way to the bed, pressing his body up against his back and pulling her in tight.

Sydney closed her eyes, with the familiar comfort of Vaughn surrounding her. And as she felt his breath, soft on her neck, she realized that they still fit together perfectly.

As if those two years had never happened.

* * *

The following morning Jack headed straight towards Vaughn's. He knew his daughter well enough to know that she would have not been able to get through the previous night alone. 

Sydney answered the door, as if she had been expecting his arrival. As they settled down in Vaughn's living room, Jack looked at his daughter, trying to find something to say. Something that would not sound clichéd or contrived.

Thankfully, Sydney was the one to break the silence. "Weiss told you?"

"Yes." Jack nodded. "I…I just…how?"

Sydney raised her eyebrows. "How?"

"How did she…did they kill her?" Fury was evident in every single one of Jack's features.

"No," Sydney replied softly. "It was natural causes…if you can call a 16 months old girl dying natural," she could not help but add bitterly.

Jack's expression had turned sad. "I wish there was something that I could do to make you feel better."

"You're here."

"We will bring them down, Sydney. I promise you. They may not have played a role in Hope's death, but they kept you and her from us. I will make them pay if it's the last thing I do."

"I plan on being right there beside you," Sydney replied.

"Do you need any time off? I can speak to—"

"The last thing I need is to be sitting at home and thinking about…" Sydney trailed off, her eyes puzzled.

"What is it?" Jack asked.

"Why didn't they just kill me after Hope died? They had nothing more to hold me there and I was no longer useful. Why would the Covenant erase my memory and set me free? They don't seem like the kind of people who let their prisoner's go."

"I can only assume that they wanted the option of abducting you again, that for some reason they did not get what they wanted out of you this time," Jack mused aloud. "So they erase your memory and any chance of a threat along with it. Speaking of which, do you remember anything about the work the Covenant had you doing?"

Sydney shook her head. "All I have is Hope- and even that isn't complete." She stopped, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "And after what came back to me last night, I'm not all that sure whether I want to know anymore."

"You don't?"

"It…it hurts, dad. If I continue to learn new things about Hope, each time will be like losing her all over again," Sydney replied. "How many times am I going to have to say good-bye to that little girl?"

"Well, have you said good-bye at all?"

Sydney blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Have you said good-bye? Do you remember if there was a funeral?"

Sydney shook her head. "I have nothing of a funeral. The last thing I have is…is seeing her body at the hospital."

"Well, then maybe that is something you need to think about."

Sydney looked at him. "I don't think so…I was the only one who ever knew her. What sort of service would that be?"

Jack shrugged. "It was just a suggestion."

* * *

"Jack is at mine now," Vaughn said, sitting down at Weiss's kitchen bench. "I wanted to give him and Syd a little space." 

Weiss was unusually reserved as he went about fixing them some coffee. "How…how are you doing?"

Vaughn hesitated. "I feel awful; like that some part of me is missing. But then I think I have no right to feel this way. It's been less than 24 hours since I discovered I had fathered a child. I never even met Hope. Syd is going through hell…I just don't feel as if I deserve to feel what I am."

"But then again, you are not grieving in the same way that Syd is," Weiss said, placing a mug of coffee in front of Vaughn. "Maybe what you are grieving is the lost chance that you had. And you more than deserve to feel that."

Taking a moment to have a mouthful of coffee, Vaughn looked back at his friend. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"How are you holding up?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. You have spent all this time with Syd, trying to figure what happened these past years, only to discover that Hope was her baby. Her baby who died. I can't imagine that would do much for your morale."

Weiss gave a small shrug. "I just can't believe you and Syd had a baby. I mean, that is amazing…and I guess we have all been given a smack in the face- reminded about how cruel and fragile life can be." He paused. "And of course, I want to kill those sons of bitches who took Syd and Hope away from us."

"Don't we all," Vaughn murmured. "I'm sure that Jack has already rallied the troops."

"Do you…" Weiss stopped himself, unsure if he should voice what he thought.

"Do I what?" Vaughn pressed.

"Do you think that there's any chance she may not really be dead? After all, we all know what the Covenant is capable of."

"It did cross my mind…but what gain would they have in faking a baby's death? And besides, Sydney said that she saw Hope's body."

Weiss visibly shuddered. "I could not imagine having to do that…"

Vaughn looked down at his coffee. "Especially having to do it alone."

"Well, you're here for her now," Weiss said. "We all are…and in a situation such as this, that is all that we can do."

* * *

"So," Sydney looked at Vaughn expectantly as they sat together later that evening. "What do you think?" 

"I think that if it's what you want, then yes."

Sydney was frowning slightly. "I have no idea of what I want…not anymore."

"It might help," Vaughn said, gently.

She sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I guess I am finding it hard to think of having a funeral when there…when there is nothing to bury."

"Who says that you need to bury anything?" Vaughn said. "All this would be is a chance for you to say good-bye."

* * *

Sydney stood at the waters edge, a copy of Hope's ultrasound in her hand. She did not want to bring the original, unable to bear losing the one tangible memento she had of her daughter. 

Asking Jack where her 'ashes' had been scattered; Sydney had chosen the same strip of beach. She found it beautiful, peaceful and given that it was her resting place, it gave some impression of a lasting connection to Hope.

To one side of her was Vaughn; on the other was Jack and Weiss. Nobody else had been aware of their search for Hope and Sydney felt no urge to spring the news on them. They were better off not knowing- that was something she was sure of.

"I…" Sydney trailed off, her eyes never leaving the crashing waves. "I don't know what to say," she finally looked up at them men around her, her eyes helpless. "I don't and…I can't…"

Weiss shifted, clearing his throat. "Hope was only young, but with Sydney and Vaughn as parents, I think that we can all assume that she possessed a stubborn streak," he paused, glancing at Sydney. Her expression was grateful and so he continued. "She would have been incredibly intelligent and would always have put others needs before her own. She would have been compassionate and she would have loved hockey for both the game and the Zambonie. Hope would have been someone who everybody wanted to be around, just because of the person she was…Now only one of us here has been blessed with knowing Hope and the possibilities of who she could have become. We may not have all been given a chance to meet her, but we will all certainly miss her."

As Weiss's voice faded into silence, Sydney crouched down beside the water's edge, holding out the sonogram.

"Good-bye baby," she whispered, before letting go.

* * *

As Jack and Vaughn headed up the dunes to their respective cars, Sydney and Weiss remained behind. Seated on the sand, they sat in companionable silence for a long stretch of time, before Sydney spoke up. 

"What you said back there," she said quietly. "It was beautiful."

Weiss shrugged it off. "I was only trying to help."

"I know and I cannot thank you enough…for everything. You have been a rock through out this entire ordeal…the one constant that I could rely on," she looked up at him. "I have no idea how I can even begin to make it up to you."

"Hmm…for starters, you can find me a girl to give me a little sugar…"

Even given the event of the day, Sydney found herself smiling. "I'll see what I can do."

"Seriously, Syd, there is only one way that you could return the favour."

"How? Name it and I'll do it."

"Just live. You have been through a dog of a time and everybody who cares about you wants to see you moving forward, working towards being happy."

Sydney was quiet for several moments, trailing her fingers through the warm sand. "You know what…I think I can actually do that."

"Really?"

"Yes, I know what happened. Yes, it was a kick in the guts, but at least I'm not left wondering now. I can try and start rebuilding my life to what it was."

"On every front?" Weiss questioned slyly.

Sydney understood exactly what he was getting at and nudged him slightly. "Are you turning into one of those gossip queens back at the Rotunda?"

"Turning? Since when did I have to turn?" Weiss asked. "I always have been and right now I am looking for some juice."

"Well, you are going to have to look at little longer."

"How much longer?"

"Wow, you are really putting on the squeeze here."

Weiss's expression sobered slightly. "You're not the only friend that I want to see happy."

Sydney glanced at him and then back out to the foamy waves. "I have no idea, Weiss, but I do have hope." Seconds later, after realizing the awful irony in her words, Sydney found herself blinking furiously.

Without a word, Weiss wrapped an arm around her shoulder as the tears began to fall. There was a long way to go, he wouldn't deny that. But she was going to make it…and he had to believe that.

* * *

Lauren Reed stared curiously at McKenas Cole. "What do you mean by another assignment?" 

"It's long term," he replied.

"How long?"

"Veronica," Cole called out and seconds later a woman entered the room, balancing a small child on her hip.

Lauren found herself staring. "Is that…"

"Yes."

"But I thought—"

"You of all people should know that things are not always as they seem," Cole interrupted. "Now, we need a caregiver. Somebody to help her reach her full potential."

"And you want me?"

"Yes." Cole motioned to Veronica, who passed the child over to Lauren. "From what I heard, her name is Hope. That will need to be changed…I'll give you the honours."

Lauren swallowed hard, feeling daunted by the child's clear and unblinking eyes. "I'm not sure that—"

"The order has been given and this is something that you cannot fail at, Ms Reed. Because, from now on, the future of that child is in your hands."

* * *

**A/N: **And hence the reason for my writer's block...because with an ending like that I am certainly going to need another story! I wanted to be sure I could create one, before posting this one. This is first time that I have ever ended a fic with a cliffhanger, so here's hoping that I can keep up the pace, hey?

On that note, I want to thank everybody how showed me support throughout this fic, escpecially those who took the time to let me know what you thought. You are certainly the motivation that keeps me churning out these fics (that and the fact that I need something to satisfy my need for _Alias_ given its demise...though Channel 7 has finally decided to show Aussie viewers season, so it's fantastic getting to watch that all again).  
Once again, thank you all so very much and you will be hearing from me soon.


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